


Bleeding Emotions

by bjfic_archivist



Category: Queer as Folk (US)
Genre: Angst, Canon, Drama, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2003-08-03
Updated: 2003-08-03
Packaged: 2018-12-27 15:22:30
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 10
Words: 37,123
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12083817
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bjfic_archivist/pseuds/bjfic_archivist
Summary: Brian finally realized what Justin really means to him and pops the question - Michael goes crazy.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Note from IrishCaelan, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [The Brian/Justin Fanfiction Archive](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Brian_Justin_Fanfiction_Archive). To preserve the archive, I began importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in September 2017. I posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [The Brian/Justin Fanfiction Archive collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/bjfic/profile).

Justin sat on the couch sketching a beautiful picture of Brian. He was sprawled out on to the bed drifting to sleep unaware of the watcher. Justin could barely keep his eyes on the pad. The man before him was a masterpiece and Justin needed to touch him-feel him-caress him. He wanted to glide his fingers across Brian's silky irresistible flesh and feel his pulsating heart beat against his own. He licked his lips letting the charcoal pencil drop to the floor and headed off toward the bed. Smiling Justin slowly climbed in and scooted next to Brian wetting his lips with his moist tongue. He leaned over letting his warm breath touch the tip of Brian's ear and began to nibble furiously. Brian didn't move. Justin giggled to himself and took matters in his own hands, literally. He tiptoed his fingers gradually down only stopping to plant small little kisses in a row. Rubbing his fore finger slowly over he looked up to see if Brian had given in to his request. Nothing but closed eyes. Justin would have to entice him a little longer. Of course he didn't mind. 

He bent down and took the scent in. Brian's cock felt so familiar; but at the same time it all felt new. Excitement-Lust-uncertainty. Licking every inch and moaning Brian's name out loud. He needed Brian now. 

He continued to let his tender lips slide down on to the hard form that lay beneath the covers. His hard cock was yearning for touch. He barely could contain the excitement he felt. 

He looked up to Brian once again but nothing. Justin was becoming annoyed. How could Brian still be sleeping? As the thought crossed his mind Brian jerked pulling away and pinning Justin against the bed. Justin was caught off guard and screamed. "Brian!" Giggling he let the bigger man take the lead. Grabbing hold of the teen Brian met his lips and pressed them together. Each tongue fought for control. Fighting the urge to release their tongue twisted battle, they broke apart leaving both with burning lungs. Aching for touch they caressed each other vigorously. Heat rising between their bodies as they separated again for air. Lungs filled with oxygen taking the opportunity to kiss again. Brian released Justin out of a tight hold and lifted his hard swollen cock. The simple touch of Brian's hand was sending signals to release. Brian whispered softly "Don't-Not yetWait for me" Justin bit his bottom lip trying to hold back the pressure that has built inside. He choked out a reply. "I'll try" Justin sat up giving Brian easier access knowing that he wouldn't be able to hold out for much longer. Brian could feel the teen ready to explode. The overwhelming need to intertwine their bodies, they collapse on the bed. Brian leaned over and grabbed the lube and a condom off the nightstand. Quickly he spread it on his fingers and gently pushed two in to Justin's tight hole opening him up. Justin between heavy breathing spoke"Brian fuck me now!" Brian was pushing his fingers in and out as Justin moaned in pleasure. He pulled them away. Gently replacing the fingers with his hard throbbing cock. Both men let out a low moan and continued. Each stroke was like fire burning so intense that they were both exploding at the same time. 

After a few moments of heavy breathing Justin looked over to Brian and laughed out a few words. "I thought you were sleeping" Brian smirked then spoke. "You thought wrong" Justin smiled and wrapped his arms around the sexy man and closed his eyes. Brian relaxed but gently caressed the younger man's side - a quick nap would be okay. They were going to need all the rest they could get if they planned on going to Babylon tonight. Brian closed his eyes and drifted off. 

*Later that evening*  
Brian turned over opening his eyes to see a beautiful blond yawning. His thoughts began to run wildly. He pulled the boy closer and kissed him. Justin returned the kiss but pulled away to speak. "Brian-we better get ready-Michael will be waiting and you know how he hates it when were late" Brian rolled his eyes knowing Justin wasn't exaggerating. He rolled over out of bed and followed Justin to the shower. Watching the younger man in front naked aroused him. He skipped a few feet right behind him almost touching and with a quick slap landed dead square on his cheek. Justin jumped and screamed. "Owww" He rubbed his reddened cheek and turned around and spoke. "What was that for?" Brian really hadn't an excuse. He just felt the need to touch. The desire he had for the boy overpowered his thoughts. Brian smiled coyly and then let out a low whisper. "I couldn't resist-its not like its hard to miss" Brian pulled him close and bent down again and spoke. "Here let me kiss it for you" Giggling Justin bent over and waved his ass pointing to the very spot Brian had smacked. Brian bent over and instead of kissing he licked. Sending chills up and down Justin's back he grabbed Brian and shoved him against the wall breaking away plaster leaving a hole. Brian looked down to the floor and saw the white powder spread over his feet. Brian pulled the man closer and whispered. "See I knew you were going to break something and that's what the spanking was for" Justin could only smile. He let go and went to the kitchen to get the broom and dustpan but Brian grabbed his hand and spoke. "Justin-forget about it-were going to be late-You can clean it up later tonight" Justin shrugged his shoulders and nodded. Walking back toward the shower Brian was waiting for him to pass. As he did Brian playfully swatted at him again. Justin ran to the shower trying to keep Brian's hands from roaming. He couldn't help but noticed that Brian was in a great mood. They quickly showered and headed out to Babylon to meet up with the guys. 

*Babylon*  
As they walked in the door they immediately saw Michael heading over. Justin saw the look on his face and he knew he was pissed. He ignored Justin and stood in front of Brian and began to complain. "You're an hour late! I was beginning to think that you had forgotten your best friend." Brian rolled his eyes and saw that Justin was making his way through the sweaty men to the bar where Ted and Emmett stood. He unconsciously licked his lips and smiled. "Hey Brian!" Michael interrupted his thoughts. Brian not even looking to the man screamed over the loud music. "What" Michael was getting more annoyed and sarcastically spoke. "Should I even be here talking to you because obviously you had other intentions than spending time with me" Brian sighed. Gently pulling Michael to his side and whispered in his ear. "Lets dance" Brian and Michael entered the crowded dance floor and began to chat as they let loose the daily frustrations of life. Michael continued on about his work as Brian tried hard to concentrate on his words. But the blonde that stood in the distance kept him constantly distracted. 

"Meanwhile at the bar Justin is talking with Ted and Emmett"  
"So how's it been going sweetie?" Justin smiled at Emmett and replied. "It's been great" Justin signaled the bartender to come over. The man who stood behind the counter was very attractive and he felt that a little entertainment was in order as Brian played with his best friend. The bartender came over and spoke. "What can I get for you?" Justin smiled his bright sunshine smile and leaned closer to the counter and spoke. "You can get me... a drink." He looked at him speaking "Kid I'm not looking for any trouble, we all know your Kinney's and he would be pissed if he knew I was supplying you alcohol." Justin stepped backed and took a glanced over toward Brian who had noticed the lust in the bartender's eyes and was giving him a fair warning. Justin looked back to the bartender smiling. Brian was his protector and it made him feel good but sometimes it got in the way. Justin repeated his words again. "I need a drink" The bartender smiled as he saw the boy's grin. Watching his soft innocent stare sent a chill up his back. How could he refuse such a beautiful man? He poured him one. The bartender leaned over the counter to whisper. "Its one of my specials, its going to pack a punch" Justin didn't even bother to ask what was in it. Even before Emmett could protest to the under age drinking he had downed it. 

Justin sat the cup down and spoke. "That's really good" Extending out his hand. The bartender looked over at Kinney. He wasn't looking. He quickly spoke. "I'm Jacob" Pouring Justin another drink he leaned in and kiss the boy. Startled by the kiss Justin looked at the bartender questionably but before he could object Jacob spoke again. "Justin maybe after a few more drinks we both can get together. I'll be off work in about 10 minutes" Justin smiled already feeling the effects of the alcohol. Before he could reply Emmett cupped his hand and made a big gasp. He spoke as if he was a three year old "Justin Taylor you are not going anywhere!" Emmett looked directly at Jacob and spoke harsh. "Don't make me go get Kinney cause he will kick your ass if you touch what is his!" Ted laughed at Emmett and wrapped his arm around him and whispered. "Its OK Emmett-were here to protect your princess" Justin looked over at Emmett and then to Ted and back to Jacob. He let out a small giggle then spoke. "Nah-I came with Brian tonight" Knowing that he didn't have to stay but he wanted to be with Brian. Not this guy. Looking back to Emmett he smiled and whispered. "Don't worry Em I'm not going anywhere. Just having some drinks" 

Jacob looked over to Brian who had occupied himself with a couple of guys. He took out another glass and filled it with his special mix and slipped in a small oval pill. Justin being unaware of what was just slipped in to his drink swallowed it down in a few gulps. He had a few more drinks than he should have. He could barely feel the floor beneath his feet. Justin looked over to the man and spoke. "Jacob? What did you put in my drink?" He knew how alcohol made him feel and this was different. Jacob didn't answer out loud but pulled Justin close to the counter and whispered. "Something that's going to make you and me feel wonderful" Justin could barely keep upright. The room was spinning and he felt sick. He could barely catch his breath. His body felt like a hundred needles slowly penetrating his skin. The alcohol had intensified the drug and made him barely able to speak, he forced his words. "I need some fresh air" Emmett and Ted looked to the teen and spoke in unison. "Are you OK?" Justin looked over to see 

Brian who had abandoned his best friend and found the trick of the night. Heading to the back with two guys Brian was unaware that Justin had been drinking and had been slipped a sleep-inducing drug. Justin walked slowly to the door trying to force his eyes to stay open as Jacob followed. Emmett saw Michael approaching almost singing out the words. "Did you see the way Brian and I danced?" Emmett looked to Ted then back to Michael and spoke. "Honey, Brian is in love with Justin not you" He didn't mean it to be so blunt but he knew that Michael was taking it more serious than it was intended. Michael growled back. "I know that! Any way where is boy wonder?" Emmett looked to the door and saw Jacob carrying Justin. He saw them disappear. Emmett spoke. "Ted, go back and get Brian" 

Ted knew that he was the designated fuck interrupter but secretly he kind of enjoyed it. Watching Brian get fucked or fuck someone and then ruining it-priceless. He smiled as he walked to the back. Michael was on his heels trying to figure out what just happened. Emmett was going to follow Justin and see what was going on. He didn't like someone touching Justin and he knew Brian would be even more perturbed. As he walked out the door he saw Justin kneeling on the ground wavering from side to side. He was so disoriented that he couldn't make intelligible conversation. Jacob had not realized that he would react so badly to the drug. He hadn't expected Justin to topple over so quickly causing him to lose his balance. He dropped him on the sidewalk hard. He bent down to his side and tried to coax him up not realizing that Emmett had seen it all. Pulling at his arm Jacob whispered "Come on Justin-Get up" Justin could only winced out in pain as his knees took the impact of the fall. Ted had filled Brian with the details of the events. Michael still hadn't a clue of what happened. He didn't like feeling left out. Since Justin came in to their lives he has felt more neglected by Brian and that pissed him off. Brian had walked out the door seeing the other man touching Justin, angrily he bolted over letting his temper take control. Screaming at Jacob. "What the fuck?" Brian pushed Jacob back and slammed him against the hard brick wall. 

Brian already sensed that something else was wrong other than the alcohol that ran through Justin's blood stream. He yelled at Jacob. "What the fuck did you give him?" Brian hadn't waited for an excuse before he slammed him again. Jacob realized that no one was going to help him so he squealed hoping that the larger stronger man would let him go. "I slipped Rohypnol in to his drink and planned on taking him to my place and fucking him!" Jacob began to shake, as his pants had slowly become wet from urine. Brian was scaring the piss out of him. Brian growled. "Jacob I'm going to say this once-You will not come near Justin again-if you try anything you will have to deal with me [looking down to Jacob's wet pants] urinating yourself will be the least of your troubles" Punching him once more he let go of the frightened man. Emmett went to Justin and bent down to talk to him. "Justin sweetie Brian is here and he's going to take care of youok ? Can you hear me?" Brian threw his keys to Michael who had been irritated by the whole situation. He shook his head in disgust and spoke. "Brian leave him there! -He needs to learn a lesson. That's what he gets for drinking" Michael hadn't even cared to find out the complete story before he had jumped to conclusions. Brian ignoring him scooped the boy up and gently put him in the jeep, he jumped in the back and let Justin lean on him. He tried to open his eyes but the drug was already taking affect. He forced himself to move trying to get Brian's attention. Brian could feel the tension in Justin's body and soothe him with words. "It's going to be alright-were going home." Brian continued to soothe him and search for words that would relax him. 

Ted and Emmett went and got their vehicle and followed them wondering if they should take him to the hospital. Justin had sweat dripping off his forehead but felt cool to the touch. Brian wiped the droplets off and tried to think of something different. But the images continued to run through his mind. What if he hadn't been there? What if Jacob had taken him some where else? Images of the bashing came back haunting him. He still hadn't told Justin he loved him. Even when he laid there in that coma he had promised himself he would be honest with himself and Justin. As he glanced to the front he noticed that Michael was watching from the rear view mirror. Brian spat out. "Michael heads to the loft" He hesitated and then spoke. "Shouldn't we take him to the hospital?" Brian knew what the drug Rohypnol was and what it was used for. He shook his head and replied. "No, too many questions would be asked and nothing would be done-I'll take care of Jacob personally but right now I need to take care of Justin" With that said Michael continued to drive but had questions of is own. "Brian referred to the loft, as their home-he's never openly admitted that-Why did that brat have to go and fuck up again? Why does he have to hang around us all the time-doesn't he have friends of his own age?" But the question that annoyed him most was "If he loved Brian so much why was he trying to pick up the bartender?" He would be devoted to Brian without any distractions. He grew angry as he pulled up to the side of the building and put the jeep in park. Looking to Brian over his shoulder and spoke. "Brian? Justin was trying to pick up that bartender-did you know that? If he loved you like he says he should be devoted only to you!" Brian put his tongue in his cheek and gently wrapped the boy in his arms. Justin could feel his body relax as Brian caressed his side trying to stimulate any response he could get from the young teen. But Justin's body was reacting to the drug. It had been almost thirty minutes since so Brian knew that sleep would overpower him. He cradled Justin and lifted him out of the jeep. He began to walk inside the building but Michael who was growing more annoyed followed. He wanted answers. Ted and Emmett pulled up and Brian stopped. He walked over to their car and told Ted to open up the car door. Michael stood next to Brian knowing that he wasn't going to get any further. Brian spat out the orders."Get in Mikey!" Michael looked to the guys and then started to protest. "Brian! I need to talk" Brian didn't hesitate to growl. "Get in Now Mikey-we will talk later!" Justin's weight had begun to shift causing Brian to stumble. Michael slowly climbed in the car and they drove away. Brian repositioned the boy and once again headed to the elevator. 

*Inside the loft*  
Brian immediately took Justin to the couch. He could smell the other man's scent lingering on the boy and it infuriated him. He pulled off Justin's tennis shoes and socks. Justin moved slightly trying to gain control over his body. He groaned out of protest. He wasn't aware of where he was or whom he was with. He just felt the overwhelming need to gain control. Brian began to remove Justin's pants but was momentarily stopped. Justin had tried to push him away. He began to caress the young man hoping that it would calm him. His arms were flailing as if he was looking for a target to grasp. Brian knew that the next few hours were going to be hard. He continued to remove his pants and soothe him with his words. Justin did seem to calm down when he heard his voice. Brian lifted the teen up and took the shirt off over his head. Brian let Justin lay back down for a moment while he got the things he needed. A shower would do both of them good. As Brian traced back and forth he couldn't help but stare at the naked boy. He was a work of art that deserved so much better. What was he compared to him? He let his thoughts end as he finally had everything together undressing himself he gently picked Justin up and took him to the shower. The water was warm and felt relaxing. Justin barely could stand on his own as Brian held him with one arm and washed him with the other. He opened his eyes a little and saw the man he loved. He whispered softly. "Brian.. I Love" Nothing more could be said. His eyes fell closed and he collapsed in Brian's strong hold. 

He looked down to the boy and whispered back. "I love you too" After a few moments in the shower Brian turned the water off and grabbed two towels. He quickly dried off Justin and carried him to the bed. He was much heavier than he looked and Brian's arms were aching. Justin lay quietly on the bed other than a few raspy breaths. Brian dried himself off and threw on some clothes. He went to the dresser and pulled out a T-shirt and a pair of sweat pants. He sat on the bed and pulled Justin close. He smiled as he began to dress him. Justin did look like a baby when he slept. His soft features left him looking innocent and vulnerable. Even though they both knew that he wasn't. Brian pulled over the shirt and worked his way down to the boy's pants. Sliding them on he let out a deep sigh. His love for the boy was stronger than he had thought. Justin began to move and whimper in his sleep. Brian caressed the teen and pulled him closer taking in the sweet smell. Letting out a smile he could feel his heart tingle when he touched the man. Brian lay there holding the boy wanting to let go of his unsaid words. He closed his eyes and whispered. "Justin-tomorrow my unspoken words will be revealed and your dream of me loving you will be said." With that said Brian turned to his side and kissed the young blond. He drifted off to sleep dreaming of the things he was going to do tomorrow. 

Justin opened his eyes and scanned the dark room not wanting to look at who was lying next to him. He was scared that it wasn't Brian. All he could remember was Jacob had put something in his drink that made him feel weak and sick. His thoughts ran wild. "What if" Before he finished his thought he felt his eyes burning with tears. His knees hurt but he couldn't remember why. The feeling of not knowing made him nauseated. His body trembled as he felt the man next to him move. More tears came as he tried to muffle his cries. The man turned to him and slowly pulled him close. He shook. His eyes were still hazy and he couldn't make out the man. Trying to see whom it was he noticed the blue lights. Blurry but still blue. He had to make sure that it was Brian who had him. "Brian?" His voice barely above a whisper. Brian half-asleep responded. "Baby its OK" Justin let out a sigh of relief. He was safe. Justin buried himself further in to Brian and fell back to sleep. 

*That morning*   
Brian was the first to wake. He took the sweet smell of Justin in as he softly kissed him and caressed his cheek. "Today is the day" he thought. Brian slowly got out of bed not wanting to wake the sleeping man. He headed over to the phone and dialed. Listening, he responded to the other voice. "Hello Reservations for two" pausing he finished his call and hung up. Nothing was going to make him back down from his feelings. He quickly jumped in the shower and got prepared for what was going to happen next. As he let his mind wonder almost searching for the perfect words to tell the only person in his life that made him feel so incredible and loved He began to blurt out words and knew he had to write them down. He jumped out of the shower and began to write. After he had put what he needed down he looked up to see Justin tossing and turning. Brian quickly put the paper away not wanting him to see it until later and went to his lover. Reaching him he softly spoke. "Justin..Baby wake up-its ok I'm here" He opened his eyes slowly and spoke. "What happened?" Brian had forgot he was wet and naked and the cold air was beginning to make him chilled. He sat down pulling the man close wanting to warm his flesh but also care for his love. Brian explained the whole thing and waited for questions. Justin looked in to Brian's eyes. How could he have been so lucky to find this wonderful man? Justin took hold of Brian's hand and put it close to his cheek. Never wanting to let go. Brian bent over and pulled him in so he could watch those beautiful blue eyes as he spoke. "Justin?" Pausing he began again. "Justin I have a dinner meeting today at 12 and I wanted to know if you wanted to come with me?" Justin smiled and jokingly spat out."It's a date?" Almost not sure if he was stating a fact or a question Brian smirked with his reply. "It's a date" Justin laughed not taking the man serious. Brian laughed but knowing deep down he was dead serious. Brian stood up and pulled him off the bed and spoke again. "Well, let's get ready. We have things to do" Brian went to the closet and pulled out an expensive suit. In fact it was brand new. He hadn't even got a chance to break it in. 

He turned around to see disappointment on Justin's face. He muttered. "Brian I can't go" Brian looked back to the closet not wanting to show the hurt in his eyes. Justin continued to speak."I don't have anything nice to wear unless you want me in jeans and a Tshirt ?" Brian smiled relieved that was the only problem. He quickly spun around and spoke. "Well, Sonny Boy I guess we will have to go out and get you something-We have time" Justin changed his expression. He was getting excited. He took a quick shower and threw whatever he would find in the dresser on and stood like a good boy in front of Brian. Justin blurted out excitedly "I'm ready" Brian laughed and then spoke "OK me too" As they both got ready to walk out the cleaning lady knocked at the door. Brian let her in and showed her the mess that Justin had made earlier with the plaster. She smiled at the blond. She didn't have to question why Brian fancied the boy.. He was beautiful. She set her stuff down and spoke. "Ok Mr. Kinney I will clean up the mess but you still want me to do the rest of what you told me..Right?" Justin looked at her then to Brian. He nodded his head and then replied. "Yes, please-my meeting shouldn't last more than a couple of hours so if you could" Justin looked at the older woman. He had never taken the time to actually talk with her. Her features were strong and bold and Justin found that to be intriguing. Brian interrupted his thoughts as he felt a hand grab for his. Smiling he walked out of the loft with the man of his dreams. Pulling up to the store Justin gasps. "Brian this is way to expensiveCan' t we go somewhere that isn't" Before he could finish Brian pressed his lips to the younger mans. Justin took that as to shut up so he did. They got inside and started to look around. It didn't take much time for them to find the perfect suit. Justin put it on and looked amazing. Brian almost wanted to take him home but let that thought pass. He had to do it. Brian paid and they left. Justin looked at him as he drove away from the designer store. He spoke seriously. "Brian I promise I will pay you back" Brian glanced over and shook his head and replied. "Justin this was a gift accept it please" Justin leaned back in his seat and couldn't believe that Brian Kinney who doesn't do dates-gifts and all the bullshit between just broke his rules. He couldn't help but smile. Brian glanced over and knew that he was happy. As they pulled up to the restaurant Justin looked at Brian puzzled. He spoke. "Brian who is meeting you here? This is a lot more expensive. Ryder must want them to be satisfied with the product" Brian glanced to the restaurant and then spoke. "Yea well sometimes we show people how much they are worth so they never leave" Justin excitedly jumped out not reading between the lines. Brian got out of the jeep and walked next to Justin pulling him close. They reached the door and walked in. Justin scanned the room looking for a group of businessmen but saw no one of that type. Brian knew what he was thinking and blurted out. "Their not here yet" Brian walked up to the podium and told the server his name. The server smiled at Justin and led them back to a little corner away from every one. The table was for seating of two. 

Brian took Justin's seat and pulled it out. He leaned in to the man and whispered. "Sit" Justin was lost. He began to ask questions. "Brian where are the others going to sit?" Brian took the menu from the man who stood between them and then spoke again. "Justin are you going to stand all day or are you going to sit?" Justin took a seat and Brian walked to his. Justin opened the menu and peeked around. He couldn't help but wonder what Brian was up to. Anticipation grew within Brian. He was waiting for the perfect moment. They ordered their food and waited for the waiter to bring it. Justin looked over again waiting for Brian's explanation. Brian looked up and smiled. It wasn't a smirk or a forced smile. It was actually a beautiful smile that he expressed. Justin blinked a couple of times to make sure he wasn't imagining it. Brian scooted his chair in a little closer and honestly spoke to the younger man."Justin the truth is that there was no meeting-I wanted to spend some time with you alone." Justin's heart fell to the floor as he spoke "So this is actually a date?" Brian let his smile run across his face again before he uttered the words. "Yea who would have thought of me Brian Kinney would go out on a date" Justin started to giggle and then stated. "I sure in hell didn't" Brian smirked and held out his hand. Justin snatched it up before it hit the table. Brian glanced over and saw the food coming. They both were starving. They sat there for at least an hour just talking about nothing but both were enjoying it. 

Brian stood up as the waiter came and spoke. "Mr. Kinney there is a phone call for you-shall you take it?" Justin looked at the waiter and then back to Brian as he replied."Yes I will" Looking at Justin shrugging his shoulders as if hadn't a clue. He walked away leaving Justin to ponder the dinner. Brian walked down the hallway and stood in front of the waiter and spoke. "God am I ready to do this?" The waiter looked at him and smiled. Brian had known the waiter and listen to him speak."You love him?" Brian looked at him and knew he had to go on and continue what he had planned. He took a deep breath and waited until he heard the song he had specifically picked. He walked over to Justin and held out his hand. He spoke in a loving tone. "Would you care to dance?" Justin looked around. No one else was dancing. Brian held out his other hand and pulled the boy closer in to his strong hold. Justin lay his head upon his shoulders and listened to Brian's heartbeat. Nothing more in the world could be better than being in Brian's arms. 

He let out small sigh. He knew at that very moment he wanted to say what he had written down earlier. Whispering in his ear. [Only You Could I Love As Much] Laughter and love with only you-sweet kisses we share-caressing my heart and soul-exposing my inner layer-Charming surroundings of affection-sudden warmth generates through-feeling of assurance and trust-that I feel only with you-Strengthened with pure sensual love-only you could I love as much-tingles arouse my forgotten innocence-enhanced by your touch Only you could I love as much-forever in my heart and soul-in my mind and thoughts-I relinquish my control Shelly Dawn Elwell Copyright 2002 

Brian let the words sink in and said nothing more. They swayed to the lovely music until it ended. Justin had tears escaping his eyes. Brian gently wiped away his tears and kissed him lightly and whispered. "Don't cry" Justin let out a long sigh as he surrendered to the man he loved. It had been a couple of hours when they headed home for a quick change. They were going to Babylon. Justin's thoughts surrounded the whole day, as Brian knew that the loft was going to be perfect. As they drove up near the sidewalk an older lady had peeked her head out of the door and angrily spoke. "Mr. Kinney would you please go turn off your radio-its so loud that I barely can hear myself think" As they got out of the jeep Brian called out to Justin. "Can you run upstairs and turn off the fucking radio?" Justin looked at the woman and saw she was pissed. He ran upstairs and headed to the door. The lady spoke to Brian and smiled. "You know Brian I always thought you would be a selfish prick all your life but when that kid came in I saw a whole different man-now you better get up there before he falls over from shock." Justin had gotten to the door but hadn't heard any noise. He let his thoughts run for a moment."That lady must be going crazy because I don't hear anything" He opened up the door and walked in. Tears ran fast down his face. He walked over to the beautiful sight. Brian walked in hoping that Justin would see how he really felt about him. Justin turned around as the tears continued to flow heavy and cried out. "Brian why did you do this?" Brian walked over to the man and pulled him close and whispered. "Because I wanted you to know how much you mean to me" Justin still couldn't believe what he saw. At least a hundred roses were scattered everywhere. Pulling a rose off the floor Justin brought the soft petal pass his lips up to his nose to smell. He looked over to Brian and spoke. "Why so many?" Brian scanned the room and slowly picked up a few off the counter before he let out his thoughts. "Justin every rose that lies here is a reason why I love you" Justin's heart began to beat hard. Unsure of what he heard he looked in to Brian's eyes and backed up "What" Stuttering he asked again. "What did you just say Brian?" He looked at the young man that stood before him. He deserved so much in life and he knew he was the one to give it to him. Blurting it out. "I Love You Justin Taylor" Justin let out a whimper and felt his body collapse. Brian was there in less than a second to catch him. Holding him close Justin let the warmth shower him. Brian Kinney finally broke his silence. Justin looked up and smiled. Whispering the same words "I love you too" Brian glanced over to the CD player and whispered in his ear. "Are you ok to stand while I go turn on some music? -I would like to dance with the love of my life" 

Justin could feel the tears well up again. But choked out the reply. "Sure" As Brian walked over to the stereo Justin caught sight of the table. It was so beautiful. Roses were intertwined with baby breath. Looking closer he saw a small card that had his name on it. He went over and picked it up. Opening the card he heard the music in the background play. Brian had put on one of his favorites. Looking down at the card it only had two words on it. "TURN AROUND" Justin turned around to see Brian kneeling. Before Justin could speak Brian started. "Justin there are things that I need to say but when I start nothing comes out so please bear with me-Justin I am yours to keep always. I don't want other guys I only want to be with you." Justin could not help but interrupt. "Brian does that mean no more tricks?" Justin closed his eyes hoping that he wasn't imagining it. Brian nodded his head and began to speak again. "Justin I'm all yours. Forever-now be quiet before I lose my nerve!" Justin smiled and let him continue. "I have something for you" Pulling out a little black box he opened it up. There lie in the silky covering was two matching rings. Justin let out a small cry knowing what Brian was asking. Brian shifted his weight on the floor and looked straight in to those amazing blue eyes and spoke. "Justin would you be [pausing in the middle as to gather enough strength] Would you be my lover-my soul mate forever-my partner?" Brian closed his eyes waiting to hear his lover's voice. Justin could barely speak but he did manage to utter a few. "Brian I will forever" 

Brian took his trembling hand and put the ring on and grabbed Justin's hand Putting the ring on him. He pulled the man in to a passionate kiss. Justin smiled through his tears and then spoke. "So when are we going to tell everyone?" Brian pulled him close whispering. "Tomorrow".


	2. Bleeding Emotions

Brian walked in to Woody's with his young teen in tow. They were going to meet at Lindsey's later and have some dinner and make the announcement. Brian Kinney and Justin Taylor were engaged. Justin smiled as he saw Emmett and walked up to him. "Hi Em" Emmett could see the happiness reflect in the man's eyes. Emmett wrapped the boy in to a strong hold and spoke. "How's my princess doing?" Justin looked to Brian who had went over to the bar and ordered some drinks. He let his mind wander to the events of last night. The words were still burning in his ears. "I love you" Brian Kinney said the words. Etched in his mind and buried in his heart forever. Justin closed his eyes and let his warm smile cross over. Emmett could only smile at the boy's silence as Brian walked by to pull Justin away from the queen and brought him close nuzzling his lips on to his neck. Justin took a deep breath and let his body fall in to the strong arms. Emmett knew something was up. Ted and Michael walked up to the pool tables where they were and obviously knew that something was going on. 

Ted was the first to announce it. "Were all going to Lindsey's tonight..For...does anyone have a clue?" Glancing to Emmett knowing that he knew pretty much of everyone's business. But this time he hadn't a clue. Emmett shrugged his shoulders and then replied. "I don't know-Lindsey told me it was important but nothing more" Michael eyed the two that stood before him. He was still very upset with Justin and Brian still wasn't letting him talk about the subject. Michael looked at Justin letting his hatred seep in to the boy's eyes. Justin let his eyes fall away feeling his body tremble. He wasn't scared of Michael. He was scared of the fact that Michael was Brian's best friend who could not accept Justin as Brian's lover. Justin let his thoughts once again take over."How were they ever going to get passed that?" Justin felt Brian's arms grow tighter bringing him into a stronger hold. He felt better. He lowered his head and kissed Brian's arm. Brian had seen the look Michael had given and glared back at the man. He mouthed the words "Don't Mikey!" Michael immediately looked away. Brian let go of Justin and walked toward him. Justin knew he couldn't keep Brian from exploding so he went over to the bar trying not to hear what they were about to say. Emmett and Ted closed in so they could hear everything. 

They loved to watch a show at others expense. Brian angrily spoke. "Don't do this Mikey!" Michael looked at him letting his emotions run on his face. He spoke harsh. "Do what? Care for you Brian? Love you? Because if I had the chance I.." Letting his words soften. "Brian I hate Justin!" He said it loud enough for the whole bar to stop what they were doing and look at them. He clenched his teeth and cornered Michael. Before he could hear anymore Justin got up and walked out. He couldn't bear to hear anymore. His thoughts overpowered him as he tried to escape. "How could Michael hate him?" Tears had warmed his eyes as he began to walk down the sidewalk. He needed to get away from Michael to get away from the whole situation just to have enough time to think. Inside Michael had begun to cry wanting Brian to hold him. Brian loved his best friend so much and couldn't stand that he had to be put in the middle. But he wouldn't choose. He took Michael by the hand and leaned in close and spoke. "Mikey I love you so much but we could never be lovers-its not like that with you" Michael didn't want to hear anymore. He knew the reason why things had changed. A blond twink named Justin had made Brian change. He walked over to the guys and sat down leaving Brian to go and search for his love. Justin was half way home knowing that it had been stupid to walk. But he couldn't stand it. He let out a deep sigh and asked himself a question. How could a person feel love so deep but feel heart-wrenching pain at the same time? He would have to face his fears that Brian if he had to would choose him over Michael. "But what if he did have to choose." His heart sank knowing Michael has been in his life a lot longer and the choice would be easy. 

Brian walked the whole bar and couldn't find his sunshine. Brian walked up to the guys and asked them. "Emmett have you seen Justin?" Ted and Emmett both shook their heads "NO" at the same time. Brian could feel the fear building. Michael turned to the guys and spoke. "I'll catch you guys later-I have to pick something up from Ma's" He walked past hearing Brian call out. "Hey Mikey are you coming to Lindsey's tonight?" Michael turned around and responded. "Yea I'll be there" He walked out without looking back. 

Brian told the guys he had to go. He needed to go find Justin but would see them at Lindsey's. Brian exited the bar and got into his jeep and headed to the loft hoping that Justin was there.. On the way he stopped by a flower stand and picked up a single rose. Holding it close to his nose he took the sweet scent in. How much has he relinquished of his facade? His whole life was just a cover up but it protected him He pulled up to the loft and saw no lights on. He let out a sigh as his mind began to think out possible traumas that could have taken place. He went up to get ready. Meanwhile Michael had gone to his mom's and went in his room to sit. He let the room take him back in time when him and Brian were only 14. Turning on the old radio that they would listen to as they flipped through magazine after magazine laughing. Michael treasured those memories. The song that played as he lay in his bed brought tears streaming down his face. 

[Where are you now]Tommy Page All alone tonight I'm calling out your name somewhere deep inside this part of you remains images of love take me back in time I don't know how it started why it ever had to end but something stepped inside we didn't let it in its keeping us apart where are you now where are you now is someone there tonight holding what was mine where are you now wonder where I am are you really feeling fine going through my life without you by my side your the only thing keeps going through my mind and nothing that I do can take the place of you where are you now is someone there tonight holding what was mine where are you now wonder where I am are you really feeling fine Ohh thinking about you boy there's gotta be a place for me somewhere in your heart All alone tonight I'm calling out your name [Brian] somewhere deep inside this part of you remains images of love where are you now where are you now is someone there tonight holding what was mine where are you now wonder where I am are you really feeling fine where are you now someone there tonight holding what was mine where are you now do you wonder where I am I need you here tonight......Brian 

He sat up wishing that they could go back in time. Wiping his tears away he sat up and prepared himself for tonight. Hearing a noise at the door he looked up. There stood Justin in the doorway. Michael hissed "How long have you been standing there" Justin had been in the house long before he had come up stairs. He looked at Michael and spoke. "Not long" Even though he had been there the whole time he didn't want to say. Michael stood up and pushed him aside knocking him down on the bed. Justin sat up surprised and screamed "What the hell are you doing?" Michael not knowing himself pinned Justin on the bed. Justin began to freak out and curse. "Get the fuck off me" Michael let his hand run along Justin's cheek and then kissed him. Justin began to plead with him hoping he would listen. "Michael please don't do this" He refused to listen. He pulled at his pants and unbuttoned them. Justin needed to get away. Struggling he loosened Michael's grip and ran to the door. Michael soon followed outraged that he was again rejected. He pushed Justin down the stairs. Justin fell hard and felt the pain but refused to let himself cry. He stood up as Michael approached. Once again pleading with him. "Michael please just leave me alone!" Michael pushed him again pinning him against the wall wanting to make the boy squirm. He lowered his hand touching Justin as he held him tight in his place. Justin was trapped. He began to tremble and burst out in tears. Between the sobs he spoke. "Michael let me go!" Vic who had walked in quickly moved to Michael and pulled him off of Justin. 

Vic looked to Michael and spoke "What's going on here?" Justin moved limping over to Vic and replied. "Nothing" Vic knew what he had saw and looked to Michael for an explanation. Justin went over to the phone and called Brian who by now was probably growing more worried. "Brian-I know.. I'm sorry-I did stop by but I caught a cab. Yea I needed to pick up my sketchbook" Justin did his best to keep from crying to Brian. He didn't want tonight to get any worse. As Vic watched Justin he could see that his appearance was slouched. He moved closer and saw the fresh imprints and bruises that were left on the pale skin. Looking to Michael he spoke firm. "What happened? and don't fucking lie to me" Michael knew he had lost control. He couldn't say. He grabbed his coat and ran outside knowing that Vic rarely spoke harsh. He let his tears run fast and sat on the porch. Vic took the phone from Justin and spoke. "Brian you need to come over now" Not giving much reason Brian found it hard to deny the man. Something in his voice made him feel ill. Brian urged Vic "What's wrong?" Justin didn't want the night to end like this and he pleaded with Vic not to say anything. Vic let out a soft smile as he hung the phone up and turned to the boy "Justin its going to be ok-now let me take care of you" Justin limped over and sat next to Vic who was trying to talk to him. 

"Tell me where you hurt." He looked at the boy and put his hand on him. "Justin please" Justin was scared. His body ached from the fall but more than anything he was in shock. What would have Michael done to him if it hadn't been for Vic walking in. His body trembled as tears once again fell. "Vic I hurt here" Vic looked up too see him point to his heart. He couldn't fix that. Only Brian could. He looked over the boy silently scanning for any broken bones but all he saw were bruises and he guessed maybe a sprained ankle. He heard the jeep come to a screeching halt and stood up. Justin limped outside to meet Brian. He quickly spoke hoping that Brian would ignore the situation. "Are you ready to go?" Brian looked to a crying Michael and to a concerned Vic then back to an eager boy who was ready to go now. Brian ran up to the steps and asked. "What is going on?" 

Justin limped to the jeep fighting back the tears ignoring Michael who had called his name. Brian looked to the older man and spoke. "Vic?" He was about to go crazy. Michael stood up and looked at both of the men and spoke. "I'm sorry-I didn't mean to hurt JustinI was so angry" Before Michael continued Brian interrupted. "What did you do?" Michael hated to see the disapproving eyes. He took off running as fast as he could. Brian took off after him not knowing what was wrong with him. After a few blocks Brian caught up with him and spoke. "Michael please calm down-tell me what happened" Justin sat in the jeep crying. Brian had picked Michael. He looked over to see Vic sitting on the porch and got out. Their dinner party was going to be starting in about an hour. He really wasn't up to it without Brian being there with him. Vic watched the boy without saying anything. "What could he say?" Justin went by his side and sat and cried his feelings out. "Vic sometimes I wonder where do I fit in with Brian's life" He looked to the young boy and wrapped his arms around him and whispered. "You belong right by his side-now let me go get an ace bandage so we can wrap up your foot." Vic got up and went inside leaving Justin with his thoughts. In the distant he could see Brian carrying Michael. His heart was aching. Justin stood up and walked the best he could out of sight. He couldn't face Michael. He sat on the ground trying to ease the pain in his ankle as he watched Vic and Brian meet. "Where's Justin?" Brian asked. Vic looked around before he spoke. "He was just here a minute ago-I went to get an ace bandage for his ankle and" Brian cut him off. "Why-Michael said all he did was push him" Walking inside putting Michael who had passed out on the couch he looked to Vic for answers. "I assumed Michael told you" Justin sat there and wanted so bad to go running in there and take hold of his lover and tell him everything but Michael was in there. Brian hadn't come out and said that he chose Michael but what if he had. Vic looked over to Brian and spoke. "What-that's not what happened! Brian you better sit down" 

Brian sat down and waited. When he heard what Vic had said he screamed out loud. Michael stirred. Justin couldn't stand it any longer he had to know. He headed to the house but stood outside afraid to enter. Inside Michael had sat up looking at Brian who was yelling "Who the fuck do you think you are?" Michael knew that Vic had told him and tried to cover his ass with apologies. "Brian I can explain..Please let me explain" Brian couldn't even stand being in the same room with him. He didn't trust himself. He rushed out of the door running straight in to Justin knocking him down to the ground. Brian looked down and saw the pale young man looking up with tears in his eyes. Brian bent down and spoke."Justin baby come here" Helping Justin off the ground he wrapped his arms around him holding him close. Justin let him hold him not sure of what was going to happen. He tried to speak. "Brian I" Before he let out any more words Brian pulled him closer and kissed him. He softly whispered "Don't worry baby its going to be ok" Helping Justin to the jeep he went to his side and jumped in. 

He looked over to the boy who seemed scared of something. He cleared his throat and spoke. "I'll call Lind's and tell her we can't make it" Justin looked out the window. He really had wanted to go. He knew Brian was going to tell the world that he loved him and he needed to hear the words again to reassure him that his doubts were nothing to worry about. He turned to Brian and blurted out his feelings. "I still want to go" Hoping to see a glimmer of hope that he too wanted to go and share his love with the whole family. Brian could see how strong the man was. Nothing was going to keep them apart. He nodded his head and replied. "Ok" Turning around they head toward Lindsey's hoping to have a better evening. He picked up his cell and called Lind's. "Hi Lind's were going to be a few minutes late-oh Vic calledyea were on our way." Looking over he could see Justin trying desperately to cover his emotions but his eyes gave it away. The short trip to Lindsey's was quiet. As they pulled up in to her driveway Brian looked over to the young man and spoke.. "Are you sure you want to go-we still can go home if you want" Justin looked in to Brian's eyes so deeply that Brian could swear that he was able to see through to his soul. Justin replied."No, I'm sure" Leaving the jeep Justin headed to the door and greeted Lindsey. Brian shortly followed but hung back waiting to talk with Lind's. She knew that Brian was going to just by the way he looked. His emotions wore on his face and for Brian Kinney that was rare. 

She pulled him aside and asked him what really had went on over at Deb's. Brian could feel his voice crack and stopped speaking. He looked over to Justin who had begun to talk with Emmett who immediately asked.. "What's wrong sweetie? You look like someone took your heart and stomped on it." Emmett glared at Brian thinking that maybe it was him who had hurt their princess. Justin spoke up. "No Em I have had a real bad day.. that's all" Lindsey coaxed Brian to tell her everything and eventually did. Dinner was served and Emmett and Ted headed most conversation. No one brought up the subject of where Michael had been and why Justin was acting so aloof. They all tried to concentrate at why they had been brought here. After a few minutes everyone had noticed that Brian had stood up and looked at Justin. The room fell silent as he began his speech. "I have brought you all here for a reason" Justin was holding his breath waiting for the words to utter from Brian's lips. "Justin and I have been together for sometime now even when I didn't admit it-but now I am. I have fallen in love with Justin and have asked him to marry me" The room was filling up with emotions. Emmett was crying as Ted cursed not thinking Brian would ever consider the C word. Commitment. Deb was wrapping her arms around Jennifer and crying and smiling at the same time. Deb even gave Brian a little punch on the arm and said. "We knew our sunshine was different from all the rest-we knew he would be the one that got Brian Kinney" Everyone looked to Justin who had not said a word. He was still holding his breath not wanting to release tears that had been built up during the whole day. Brian knew Justin was on a verge of an emotional break down and this time it wasn't his fault. It was Michael's. Justin had realized that the family was staring waiting for him to say something. He slowly stood up and gave a smile and spoke. "I have always loved Brian even the first time I laid my eyes upon him-I knew there had been something about him but never being able to put a finger on it until now" Justin turned to Brian and looked in to his soul once again. Brian's heart felt love and waited for the boy to continue. What Justin had learned at that very moment he did not want to share with the rest of the group. He needed to tell only Brian. Before he sat down he whispered. "I love you Brian" Justin looked to the rest of the family and knew all of them were happy. Brian left his seat and walked to Justin pulling him in to a great hug and passionate kiss. The group fell silently watching the emotions that plagued the men. They were truly meant for each other. 

As they both separated for air Michael had entered the room. Deb had been the first to see him and pulled him in to a hug, not knowing what had taken place earlier. She hollered out. "Michael Guess what? Brian and Justin are engaged" As soon as Deb had said the words Michael let out a loud scream. "NOOOOOOOOOO" 

Brian took hold of Justin pulling him to his eyes. He needed Justin to understand his words."Justin-no matter what goes on between Michael and me -I will always love you, nothing will ever make me stop-do you know that?" Justin let his tears fall and shook his head no. Brian had thought Justin would have realized this but how could he have known. He never told him. He kissed him and spoke while Michael continued to wail. "Justin I love you and you are part of my family-Mikey either has to accept us or accept neither. He can't just have me." Justin let out a relieved sigh. Brian had chose him after all. He pulled the taller man in and kissed him back. Both men looked over to Michael who was calming down. Justin was unsure of his intentions and held tight to Brian seeing Michael step closer to talk."I'm sorry that I hurt you, I didn't mean to try and." Before he could finish Justin had covered his ears. He didn't want the people he loved to know what had happened. He yelled. "Shut up Michael" Brian tried to soothe the man but as long as Michael stood there Justin was going to continuing to freak out. 

Brian let go of him and went to Michael and spoke quietly "Lets go Mikey-its about time we talk about our relationship" Michael looked to the family who had been shocked but as well as curious as to what had taken place. Then he looked back to Justin. Brian took his arm and pulled him out of the room. Justin could feel his heartbeat slow and relax a little. He looked to the people in the room and gave a weak smile. He did not offer an explanation nor would have given one if asked. He sat down at the table and laid his head down. Lindsey had told the family that Michael was having some problems dealing with Brian's and Justin relationship. They all knew no one had to ask any questions. Justin had fallen asleep at the table. Everyone was happy that Brian had finally realized he loved the boy. Now it was time for Michael to understand. Justin slowly had woken up and lifted his head to a deserted room. No one around. He stood up and walked out of the room. Still no one was around. He walked outside and let his lungs take in the fresh air. "How long had I been asleep?" He looked down to his watch. Almost 2 hours. He jumped as a hand gently touched his shoulders. "Justin are you OK?" It was Deb. He looked to her not wanting to hurt her. How could he tell her that her son who she loved so much had hurt him? He replied with little emotion."I'm finewhere' s Brian?" Deb could see that he was lying but she also knew why. 

Lindsey had to tell the family what was going on so she pulled them out of the dining room and told them everything. Deb had been upset but not with the boys. She should have seen this coming but had hoped that Michael would have gotten over the jealously. She let go of the teen and spoke."Brian's in the back yard with Michael" Justin wanted to go back to the loft so he would have to go confront both men. Walking through the house as fast as he could hoping that when he had gotten to the yard that it wouldn't be too long before he was home at the loft in Brian's arms. He closed his eyes and took a long breath. "Here goes" Justin opened the door to see a hysterical Michael. He was quiet as he approached slowly and motioned for Brian to listen. "Brian-I'm going to get a ride home with my mom-I'll see you later" Brian wasn't about to let him leave and go to an empty loft without him. Brian called Deb out and told her she needed to help console Michael because he needed to go. Deb understood. She walked over to a pleading Michael and wrapped her arms around him who was refusing her. "MA don't let him go please I need him-can't you all see that." Justin could feel the man's pain. Even though Michael had caused so much pain he hated to see him like that. He spoke."Brian you should stay-I can get a ride with.." Before he could finish Brian had cut him off. "No were going home" Justin wasn't up to arguing especially with the one he loved so much. They both left leaving Michael crying out. Deb looked to Brian knowing Michael needed more help than anyone here could give him. They reached the loft. Justin walked in and stood by the kitchen as Brian took hold of the man and whispered. "Justin its ok to cry-let all your pain out, I'm here for you" 

Before Brian was able to finish Justin wrapped his arms tighter around and cried heavy. Brian let him cry out his tears before he would talk with him. After about an hour Justin had calmed down and was ready to talk. He looked straight in to Brian's eyes and spoke. "How am I supposed to live in your life as your spouse if Michael won't even let me be a friend to you? I can't keep letting Michael run me over, Brian." He knew that Justin was right. Brian assured him and spoke. "Were going to get help for him Justin-Deb and I already found a place that we think can help him" Justin looked up and hoped they could. As both of them settled down in bed Justin smiled to himself. He slowly put his arm over the sexy man and closed his eyes. He was home with the man of his dreams and soon would be Justin Taylor Kinney. Or would he?


	3. Bleeding Emotions

Both men were awakening as they heard the loud banging echoing off the walls. Justin turned over to glance at the clock. 6:30 in the fucking morning-who the hell would it be? Justin continued to rant as he saw Brian get up. Brain pulled on a pair of sweats and slowly made it to the door. Upon opening it he stood speechless. Justin got out of bed and went to Brian's side. There stood Michael holding his side bleeding. Justin stood motionless as his thoughts drifted of the months before. Brian had grabbed hold of the man and pulled him in and spoke nervously. "What the fuck happened Mikey?" Turning to Justin Brian was telling him to call 911. But Justin hadn't heard him. Justin was in shock. All that blood. He could only remember his prom. He slowly asked. "What" Brian looked at him and yelled "Goddamnit Justin call 911" Coming back to realization He ran over and dialed. Giving the information he hung on to the phone as the operator asked questions. Justin was growing more anxious as he spoke. "I don't know-he came to the door and there's blood every where" 

Soon the paramedics could be heard and Justin let them in. Brian looked like he was in shock and didn't move when the men went to work on Michael. Justin moved in and took hold of Brian and spoke calmly. "Brian let them help Michael" Brian stood up angry with Justin for pulling him away. He yelled out. "Fuck off-I shouldn't have went to Lindsey's I shouldn't had done a lot of things now look at Mikey-its fault" Justin heart sank but he didn't want Brian to blame himself. He let his tears run down his face as he whispered. "Brian it's not your fault" Anger covered his face and then he blurted out those hateful words. "Justin if I hadn't been so romantic with you in front of Mikey then this would have never happened-I should have known he couldn't take it-but I let you talk me in to that bullshit" Justin stepped back without saying a word. He knew Brian had been upset but the words he spoke pierced the boy's heart. The paramedics walked out ignoring the two arguing as they stabilized him. Brian followed without turning back to the man. 

His words were cold and had no meaning. He was just terrified that he may lose his best friend. The one that helped him through his child hood, who was he kidding-Michael had helped him get through his life. What was he without the man? Bran would have to make it up to Justin but right now he needed to help Mikey. The door shut leaving Justin alone and tormented. His first reaction was to run away and never look back but he still loved Brian. He walked over to the phone and called Deb. Of course she was panicked and was screaming. He tried to console her but nothing worked. He hung up the phone and dialed the rest of the family. The last one he called was Ted. He listened as he heard Ted curse. Every one of them had nothing to say other than they knew Michael was headed for disaster. But how they said it was more implying it was his fault like he flaunted the love that Brian had for him. He hung up the phone and sat on the floor as the tears flowed heavily. He needed to be at Brian's side. He hailed a cab and headed to the hospital. 

*Hospital 7:45 am*  
Heading inside his stomach wretched in discomfort. The memories here were so painful. He still hadn't fully recovered from the agonizing memories that lay deep inside. He had to shrug it off. This had nothing to with him. He walked by the waiting room and saw the gang inside. Peeking in he noticed most of them were crying making Justin think of the times they had cried for him. He let the thought of Michael being hurt sink in. Nothing in the world would want Michael gone from Brian's life. He knew how important the man was. How could Brian ever manage life without Michael? Justin shook at the thought. Many times when he lay in that isolated room with the ammonia smell he wished that someone would just open the door and rescue him from the pain and hurt. He couldn't do that. He was probably the one causing it even if unintentional. He had to do something to make Michael understand he wasn't a threat. He settled on flowers and card that said "Get Well." He went to his room and opened the door after throwing a little bit of charm toward the nurse. 

He could act hetero just like the rest of them when he wanted something too. The nurse loved his smile. She would have given him the world if he'd asked for it. But all he needed was the room number. Leaving that thought he saw Michael laying there with closed eyes. Justin sat the flowers down next to him and let out a sigh. "Couldn't he see that I'm not taking away his best friend" Michael had opened his eyes and looked at the flowers. Justin began to speak. "Michael I hope you feel better and I want to be a friend not an enemy" He picked up the flowers and took the scent in and smiled. Even before Justin could reply to the soft gesture Michael heaved them straight at his head. Missing him by an inch. He screamed. "Get the fuck out-you little shit! Your the reason why I'm here-everyone knows that bullshit Brian said is untrue-Look where he is-he's with me-not you-Get out now!" Michael had been screaming out as the tears streamed his face. Justin not knowing what do to turned to leave-stunned and scared he moved for the door but instead ran in to the Dr. Michael lied to the doctor. "Get him out-he's trying to hurt me" The Dr looked to Justin and suddenly Brian grabbed his arm and pulled him out and spoke. "What the fuck are you doing?" 

Before Justin could explain Brian pushed him to the wall. Justin felt the coldness in the wall as it left a burning sensation tingling on his back he tried to pull away. Brian was being an ass. He spoke coldly. "Don't be a twat right now Justin-Mikey doesn't need your over dramatic bullshit-got it?" Justin looked in to Brian's eyes. The look was so cold that it made him tremble. Brian felt it regretting his mistake he let go. Without saying anything Justin ran out passing the rest of the gang who had also given their two sense. "How could I be so stupid?" He asked himself silently. He couldn't go home..Not just yet. He needed time to think. He walked around for a few hours realizing his ankle was hurting with every step he took. He held out his thumb hoping someone would give him a lift. It wasn't long before a truck pulled up. "Where ya headed?" The lady looked harmless. "Anywhere but here" The lady motioned him to the back. He normally wouldn't do something so stupid but at that very moment he really didn't care. He climbed in and sat close to the window. Neither spoke which was a relief. His thoughts kept returning to the evening. 

Eyes closed he drifted off to sleep. After a few hours the truck abruptly stopped, he was shaken awake. "Where am I" He looked over to the lady who said nothing more than "It is your stop-kid" Justin climbed out and thanked the woman. She sped off leaving him alone. Meanwhile at the hospital- the Dr walked in to the waiting room calling out for Deb and Brian. They both approached and listened. "I need to have a serious conversation with the two of you in private". They both walked in the hall away from the group. The doctor continued. "In Michael's case the wound seem superficial-it didn't require stitches. Now I need to know if Michael has been under any stress lately to make him inflict this wound on himself?" Deb looked like she was going to pass out. She stepped closer to the doctor and spoke. "Are you trying to tell me that my son caused this? And the way your talking the injury was nothing, what about all that blood?" Deb stood her ground not wanting to admit Michael had probably done it. The doctor sighed and explained. "The blood on his shirt was actually a mixture of paint and base related oil. It was fake!" Brian looked over his shoulder to the door, which had been closed. All he could do was curse. "Fuck!" Brian realized that once again Michael had gotten between Justin and himself. But this time he chose to believe Michael and push Justin away. He didn't even bother to listen any more. Deb stopped listening to the Dr. and spoke to Brian "Go find our sunshine" He walked away heading to find Justin. He couldn`t think but only hope. "God I hope he forgives me " Brian got in to his jeep and left. Meanwhile Justin found a little hotel about a mile down the road and bought himself a room for the night. He must have been out in the boonies because he hadn't recognized the area. He slowly opened the door and looked in. Nothing spectacular. A single bed lay in the middle with a television in the corner. The TV looked ancient. But Justin didn't care. He just needed to rest his aching foot and let his heart and mind recuperate from Brian's words. Justin took off his shoes and lay on the bed. Letting his mind wander. A little radio sat on the tabletop. He turned it on and flipped through the stations. Listening to the music he let himself fall in to a restless sleep. As Brian pulled up to the loft he noticed that no lights were on but silently he hoped that Justin had just fallen asleep. He reached the door and opened it. He called out. "Justin baby are you here?" Silence filled the room. He walked over to his answering machine and checked for messages. None. He walked to the bed and collapsed. Silently whispering to himself. "What the fuck have I done?" Closing his eyes the tears fell down his face. Wishing at that moment Justin would walk in and tell him everything was okay. He looked to the door holding his breath hoping that his sunshine would be standing there. Nothing but silence. 

After a few hours passed he couldn't stand it anymore. He had to get out of there. The loft left him feeling empty without his love there. He couldn't get the words out of his mind he had been so cold and unfeeling toward Justin. Grabbing his cell phone he walked out. Justin sat up and looked at his watch. Nearly 9pm. He had slept most of the day by. The tears were building and he knew that he was about to lose it. He stood up and hobbled to the bathroom looking in the mirror he could see the image of a sad man. It couldn't be him-could it? He looked in to those eyes. So much sadness showed. How did he let himself get like this? He closed them as the radio began to play a song as his tears wet his cheeks. He missed Brian so much. What was he going to do? He couldn't stay in this hotel for the rest of his life. He let himself fall to the bathroom floor as he let the words sink in. [Angel by Sarah Mclachlin] Spend all your time waiting-for that second chance for a break that would make it okay-there's always some reason to feel not good enough-and it's hard at the end of the day I need some distraction-oh beautiful release memories seeps from my veins-let me be empty and weightless and maybe-I'll find some peace tonight in the arms of the angel-fly away from here from this dark cold hotel room-and the endlessness that you fear you are pulled from the wreckage-of your silent reverie you're in the arms of the angel-may you find some comfort here so tired of the straight lineand everywhere you turn there's vultures and thieves at your backstorm keeps on twisting keep on building the lies-that you make up for all that you lack it don't make no difference-escaping one last time it's easier to believe-in this sweet madness oh this glorious sadnessthat brings me to my knees in the arms of the angel-fly away from here from this dark cold hotel room-and the endlessness that you fear you are pulled from the wreckage-of your silent reverie you're in the arms of the angel-may you find some comfort there you're in the arms of the angel-may you find some comfort here 

His heart felt like it was broken. He looked over to the phone wanting so bad to pick it up and call Brian. "But Brian made it clear. But what had he made clear? That he didn't love me? He didn't come out and directly say it." Justin let the thoughts immerse him deeper in sadness. He crawled over to the phone and picked it up. He dialed but said nothing. Brian picked up his cell phone hoping it was Justin. Silence. "Justin Baby I hope this is you-please tell me you're all right!" Silence again. "Justin? I'm sorry! I didn't mean what I said-I was upset-please baby talk to me" Justin sat on the other end listening not wanting to speak. He didn't trust himself. Brian could hear the whimpering in the background and knew it was Justin. But the sounds haunted him. "Justin I want to come get you-where are you?" Silence. "Goddamnit Justin please tell me-I can't stand the thought of losing you-I love you-now please talk too me-just tell me your okay" Justin put his lips to the phone. "I'm not okay" Brian's heart broke to hear his sunshine in such emotional pain. Brian not trying to hide his real emotions began to cry. Justin could hear the sobs and his heart wrenched. Brian broke through his sobs and spoke "For a moment I thought I had it all until I saw the pain that I caused in your eyes and knew I had nothing without your love- Justin I need you more than air in my lungs-don't you get it I love you -I want to hold you until the end- I didn't mean to make you cry and disappoint you but now that I have you in my life I just can't let you go because I'm nothing without you-please Justin give me a second chance" Justin couldn't let Brian go on. The pain in his voice was making him cry more He believed Brian`s words and spoke quietly in the phone. "Brian" He held his breath. "Please come get me" Brian let out a deep sigh and headed toward the hotel. The long ride was agonizing. He so badly needed to get to Justin. To hold him and tell him how much he was loved. As the jeep pulled in Justin ran out needing to feel Brian's embrace. He quickly threw the jeep in park and jumped out. He embraced the young man and whispered "Please just don't let me go" Justin buried his face deeper in to Brian's and took a tighter hold whispering to himself. "In the arms of my angel"


	4. Bleeding Emotions

Brian drove silently as he watched Justin looking out the window. Silently Justin was thinking about the two of them-how they were ever going to make it. Brian called out his name. "Justin?" He looked to Brian with tired eyes and responded "Yea" Brian looked back to the road for a second then glanced back to him and spoke. "There's a lot of things you don't know about me and I need you to understand it's not easy for me to open up" Justin looked back out the window not responding to his words. Words were everything to Justin but lately words betrayed him and he wasn't ready to open up and let his heart hurt again so quickly. Brian looked back to the road needing Justin to forgive him. As they pulled up to the loft both men were exhausted. Justin got out first and headed to the elevator. He didn't go in right away. He waited for Brian. Soon Brian was by his side but neither touched. Shortly entering the loft Brian went and laid down on the bed and hoped Justin would join him Instead Justin went to the shower and turned on the water. It was almost scalding but he didn't care. The fact still remained that Brian chose Michael over him. Just because Brian apologized this time what about next time Michael wants to get Brian's attention. He slowly climbed in to the shower and let the hot water attack his back. He couldn't hold back the tears any longer. He let his body slide down the shower door and sat there sobbing uncontrollably. Brian lay on the bed and could hear the sounds echoing off his walls. He lay there for a second wondering if he should go in there and comfort him but what if he was rejected. He wasn't sure if he could face that. Brian waited for a moment and then stood up. He couldn't just do nothing. He walked to the bathroom and opened the door. Justin knew he was there and tried to control his sobs. 

Brian opened the door and knelt down beside the distraught man. Pulling him close he held him tight as Justin wailed. Brian rocked him back and forth trying to console him. "Justin baby please don't cry-what can I do to make it better?" Justin continued to cry and looked in to his haunting hazel eyes and whispered "Why can't I be enough" Brian let his body sink to the floor as he held Justin looking deeply in those baby blues. How could he have made Justin feel so worthless? He loved him so much but here as he sat on the floor this young innocent boy was asking why he wasn't good enough. Brian was pissed at himself. He stood up releasing him and turned around with all his strength and punched a hole in to the wall. Justin jumped when he saw Brian hit the wall. Water spilled on to the floor as Justin stood up. He walked out of the shower and stood in front of the crying man. Neither one said a word but the emotions that play on their face were more than enough. Brian walked out and headed back to bed watching in the corner of his eye hoping that Justin would follow. He did. As they reached the Bed Brian climbed in and waited for Justin to climb in. But he didn't. Justin stood there at the foot of the bed and stared with those innocent ocean eyes. Brian sat up and held out his hand and spoke "Please Justin let me hold you" He was so tired of fighting for a place in Brian's heartobviously he had won his love but why did he feel so inferior to Michael. He moved in next to Brian allowing him to be pulled closer. Justin allowed himself to think a few minutes before he spoke knowing he needed to express what he felt "Brian? Don't leave me here with these tears-I can't forget-my heart is breaking -my soul starts to ache knowing that you chose Michael over me. When I look in to your eyes-I love that most because I see the truth there but words fill me with doubt. Tears start falling when I think that I'll never be good enough-tell me I'm enough" Brian brushed away his tears and kissed him lovingly. He whispered hoping his voice would hold out long enough to make the teen understand. "Justin I'll never find a boy like you that makes me feel the way you do-I pray that you will never leave me-I didn't choose Michael over you-I chose you-you complete me." 

Justin fell asleep hearing the loving words that Brian had said. Brian closed his eyes but could not fall asleep. He had hurt Justin again and had to make it up to him. He whispered as he held the man tighter. 

And I don't know where I'd be-Without you here with me Life with you makes perfect sense-You're my best friend You're more than a loverThere could never be another To make me feel the way you do-Oh we just get closer I fall in love all over-Every time I look at you And I don't know where I'd be-Without you here with me Life with you makes perfect sense-You're my best friend 

Justin your my best friend. He closed his eyes and fell asleep. Tears had begun to fall off Justin's cheek, he had been awake and barely was able to steady his breathing when he heard the sweet words whispered. Justin turned over completely and kissed the man. Able to feel love and content he fell in to a deep sleep. Brian was the first to wake but he didn't move out of bed. He watched Justin sleeping. He couldn't resist the urge to feel love for him. He gently brushed away his blond strands of hair from his forehead and kissed him softly. He wasn't willing to get up yet. Justin was holding him in to a tight embrace and he felt so secure. Justin opened his eyes and stared in to his. Brian whispered "Hey Sonny boy" Justin smiled and replied. "Hi" Both smiling they took each other in a tighter embrace and kissed never wanting to let go. They both began to drift back in to a slumber when the phone rang. Brian rolled over and picked it up. "Hello-yea hold on" Brian handed him the phone and got up to take a shower. "Hello-yea of course" Justin hung the phone up and climbed out of bed. He headed to the bathroom and jumped in the shower with Brian. Justin got ready to speak but Brian cut him off. "Let me guess-Deb needs you to come in" Justin cocked his head and spoke. "Of course-but not before I have my breakfast-you do know I need to keep up my strength" Cracking a smile Justin took Brian in to a strong kiss and from there pure ecstasy. After they both climbed out Justin went to get dressed. He had to be at the diner less than an hour and the rate he was going he was going to be late. Brian looked at him and spoke. "Justin-I'll drop you off" He quickly threw on his clothes and grabbed his backpack. They both headed out. 

*Diner*  
Brian let Justin off in front and handed him his backpack while asking him a question. "What time are you getting off?" Justin looked at him with a sly smile forming and giggled out a reply. "Well, that depends" Brian threw him a smirk. Justin looked at his watch and responded. "In about 5 hours" Brian pulled the man in to a kiss and said "OK I'll be here to get you then" With that he began to drive away but before he was out of ear shot he yelled out his window. "I love you" Justin smiled as he entered the diner. He went to the back to drop off his backpack and get his apron on. He walked out and went to work. As his shift continued he kept roaming hands and gestures from touching him. He wiped off the counter and then spoke. "Deb I'm going to take a break" Justin wiped his hands and walked in to the back. He immediately knew that he was not alone. Standing in the corner stood Michael and a stranger. At first he wasn't sure what was going on but he looked down to see his bag had been opened. After going through the contents he looked to Michael and spoke. "Where is it?" Michael approached smiling. Leaving the bigger man in the corner, he spoke. "Are you looking for these?" Shoving shredded papers at him. Justin couldn't believe it. Michael destroyed his art. All his beloved pictures of him and Brian. He could feel the hot tears well up in his eyes. His heart felt ripped apart like the papers that lay on the floor. He looked at Michael and screamed. "Fuck You!" He turned around and headed back toward the door ignoring Michael and the stranger. Suddenly Justin could feel larger hands on him, pushing him against the wall. His faced pressed against and was unable to turn his head he yelled at Michael. "You think tormenting me will make me leave-I'm not going anywhere-I love Brian!" 

Hearing footsteps he felt the punch in his side. He did everything he could to double over but the larger man held him in to place. Michael seems to grow angrier. Tearing in to Justin like he was a mad man. His body fell limp as Michael continually beat him and kicked him. The stranger released his hold and Justin fell to the floor. Gathering his breath he stood up and faced Michael. He let the words out. "You need help" Hoping that this was over he headed to the door again but the stronger man stopped him in his tracks. Michael approached again but this time instead of hitting him he tore at his flesh with his nails leaving long scratch marks on his back. Justin cried out in pain. "Fuck you and your little tag along" Justin had enough. Pulling away from the stranger Justin corner Michael. If he was going to be out numbered at least he was going to get in a few licks. Pushing Michael against the wall he screamed "Brian loves you so much-but you're so fucked in the head to see it" Before he could finish he felt his body arch in pain. Michael hollered to the stranger. "Joe holds him tight" Joe nodded and grasps Justin tighter cutting off the blood flow to his arms. Michael walked up to him and faced the blond. The soft air from Justin's breath aroused him. The desire to touch him grew stronger. Michael pressed his lips to Justin's. In a moment Justin gathered enough strength to loosen himself and kick Michael in the groin. 

Spitting at him. He backed away and said. "How dare you touch me-I'm not yours-I'm Brian's!" Justin knew what he had done was going to cause more pain for himself but he couldn't let Michael violate him. He braced himself for the pain. Joe quickly grabbed Justin again and pinned him against the wall. The bruises were already appearing and he could feel the dread in the pit of his stomach. What the hell was Michael going to do to him? Michael got up off the floor and smiled. Justin closed his eyes hoping that soon it would be over. Teeth sinking in to his side he yelped out in pain. Joe covered his cries as Michael continued to assault him. Tears ran down the boy's face as he grew weaker. Justin let his thoughts wander to Brian's sweet smile. His features were truly an artist dream. Almost feeling his finger tips glide over Brian's perfect mold. He shuttered as Michael let his fingers roam freely. With a quick signal Justin was on his knees. He would not give in to Michael's demented request. Letting his body sink he made Joe work for control. Justin growled. "Fuck you!" Justin could feel the words fall. Michael unzipped his pants and let his hard cock pressed against Justin's face as he laughed out the words. "Does this feel good-boy wonder?" Justin tried to move but Joe kept him still. He looked in to Michael's eyes not wanting to admit that he was trapped. 

Michael signaled Joe once again. Being forced Joe opened his mouth. Justin gagged at Michael inserted his dick and bragging. "Take it baby-take me" Justin let the tears fall as he tried to fight for air. Joe held his arms tight as he pushed Justin forward allowing Michael to force his cock down his throat. After a few minutes Michael climaxed. He smiled and coyly stated. "I can see why Brian loves those lips-their fucking great at giving head" Feeling the pressure overflow the swollen lips Michael pulled out leaving Justin throwing up. Joe snarled "Aww What's wrong sunshine? Brian not here to protect you from big bad Mikey" Justin felt him release him and ask something. "Where's my money" Michael handed him a few hundred's and the man disappeared. He felt so dirty inside. He needed a shower to scrub away the filth. He slowly stood up and approached Michael. Now one on one it was going to be fair. Forcing Michael against the wall he spoke. "You still don't have what you want-and Brian never will be yours-he loves me!" The words stung Michael's heart. He let out a loud whimper and soon Deb came running. Deb pulled Justin away from Michael and screamed. "What the fuck is going on Sunshine?" Michael began to grow hysterical and blame everything on him. Deb looked to Justin to find any truth in what was being said. Justin was so distraught from his attack that he didn't even want to face either of them. His body felt like hell and all he wanted was a hot shower to clean away the scent of Michael. Who knew where Michael's mouth and hands had been. Justin looked to Deb but said nothing. He went over and picked up his backpack and the shredded art on the floor. He walked out. The bruises on his body were covered and for once Justin was thankful that he wasn't the center of attention. 

Deb soon followed and went to Justin to speak with him."I don't know what happened but the way it looked you were hurting my son-why?" She stared in to his eyes waiting for an excuse but none came. "Well, since you are having issues with Michael I think it would be better for you to take off a few weeks here at the diner" Deb was in total denial she was to afraid to wait for a real answer. Michael probably had hurt him but Justin being too considerate wouldn't say anything. Michael had been released from the hospital but was told to seek professional help for his problems. That would be unlikely. Justin looked to the door and then back to her. His mind wanted him to scream out. "I'm not the one with issues-your son has lost his fucking mind-he's the one who feels the need to beat on me like a chew toy" But he didn't scream. He walked out the door holding his pain deep inside. He stood outside relieved to see the jeep pull up. He climbed in grasping his backpack and shut the door. Brian looked over to the man and saw the pain in his eyes. He spoke. "Are you okay.. Justin?" He looked over not wanting to look Brian directly in to his eyes knowing he was able to read him like a book. He quietly whispered. "Yea just had a bad day" Brian could feel the tension in the jeep but said nothing else. He knew Justin wouldn't be able to hold his feelings in for long. Pulling up to the building Justin had jumped out of the jeep not wanting to give Brian the chance to grill him. As they both entered the loft Justin headed straight for the shower. Brian found it to be strange because Justin took his backpack with him. He closed the door and locked it. He knew he couldn't stand in there forever but he needed so bad to wash away the bad memory. Justin winced in pain as he removed his shirt. The pale skin had taken a severe beating. Purple blotches stained his creamy soft skin. He let his tears fall, as he looked himself in the mirror. "Justinits not your fault-you did nothing wrong" Even though the words rolled off his lips he did not believe them. He bent down and retrieved the antiseptic cream and unscrewed the cap. Meanwhile Brian had called the diner to find out what was going on. Deb had told him what had happened but Brian knew Justin better than anyone else. Going over to the bathroom door he tried to open it. It was locked. He hadn't heard Brian's attempt to open the door. He was more focused on turning the shower on hoping that the hot water melted away the sadness he felt. He climbed in to the shower and sank to the floor crying. Brian could hear his cries and banged on the door screaming. "Justin..Baby let me in" Justin couldn't get up. His body surrendered to the pain. He leaned his head over to the cool tile and continued to cry. Brian panicked ran to the kitchen and got a butter knife. He picked the lock and opened the door. He was not prepared to see his lover battered with teeth marks-scratches and bruises. 

He rushed over and pulled the boy out of the shower wrapping his loving arms around him. Whispering "Who the fuck did this to you?" Justin looked to his protector and cried "Michael happened-the fucker and his buddy beat me up and then they shredded my art" Justin let the tears flow again. Brian looked at him and apologized "I'm so sorry..Baby" Looking in to Justin's eyes he pulled him in to a soft gentle kiss. Brian immediately stopped. Tasting another man Brian found it hard to swallow. He barely was able to utter the words. "Justin? Did he or his buddy hurt you?" Justin lowered his head afraid to answer. Brian fist clenched knowing he had been but as soon as he felt Justin tremble he released his anger. He had to concentrate on Justin. He began to soothe him. "Its ok-pooh I'm here for you" He had to take care of him first then he would deal with Michael! Brian cautiously helps clean the wounds and wrapped them up. Taking the man in to his arms he led him to the bed. Reaching the bed Brian spoke softly. "Justin-I need to know what happened" Justin didn't want to talk about it. He just wanted to sleep. Brian needed to know what they had done. His fears were rising as Justin lay there. Brian let the words stutter out his mouth. "Did they rape you?" Justin looked to Brian. Those words repeated in his mind. He could only whisper."Joe his hired goon held me down while [pausing not wanting to continue] Justin closed his eyes feeling the nausea overcome him. Brian was losing his cool. The anger he felt raged in his body. Michael would pay dearly. This time he has stepped over the line.


	5. Bleeding Emotions

Justin had finally fell asleep leaving Brian to devise a plan. Michael needed far more help than any of the family could give. He gently slid off the bed and walked to the kitchen grabbing a screwdriver. He made his way over to the bathroom door. Thinking of what happened earlier. He hadn't been able to get to Justin-what if it had been worse. He knew he had to remove that lock. He whispered to the room "Next time he won't be able to lock me out" Removing the lock he let his mind wander. How could Mikey attack Justin? But what scared him the most was if Michael had raped him? Brian picked himself up and walked to the bed needing to touch the man to reassure himself that he was safe. Silently Brian watched Justin sleep. He could barely take his eyes off the sleeping man. "For God sakes Brian get a hold of yourself-he's ok! He's lying on our bed and no one will touch him again" Touching Justin to make sure he really was there. "How the fuck am I going to fix this?" Mikey had crossed the line and he would have to set him right. Losing him as a friend was not an issue anymore. He had threatened to take away what mattered most in his life. Brian glanced down one more time to make sure the man was in a deep sleep. He was. Brian clenched his teeth at the thought of finding Michael tonight. He walked out the door. 

Pulling up at Deb's house he shoved the jeep in park and climbed out. The house flooded his memories with his child hood. He forced them out of his mind and knocked at the door. Deb opened the door not surprised to see Brian she waved him in. She began her cheerful greeting. "Michael said you might come over" His eyes were cold and showed no emotion. He forced the words "Where is Michael" As the words were spoken He jumped down the stairs by two. Michael spoke."Hey Brian what brings you over here" He couldn't believe how Mikey was acting as if nothing had gone on. He could feel his anger grow and explode. He let the volcano of emotions out as he spoke. "What the fuck did you do to Justin?" Deb had seen Brian angry many times but never like this especially toward his best friend. She stepped in between the two afraid that Brian was going to hurt her son and spoke. "Please Brian what ever it is you both can work it out" Brian shot her a look and then stared back to Michael to speak. "What did you do to Justin at the diner?" Michael looked dumbfounded and replied. "I haven't seen Justin in a few days-what are you talking about" Deb looked over to Michael and spoke. "Honey you were at the diner today-don't you remember?" Michael searched his memory but could not recollect his whereabouts today. He sat down on the step and looked to Deb and whined. "Ma I don't remember" Brian rolled his eyes and spat out his words. "Do you think I'm going to fall for that bullshit? -Should I refresh your memory" Deb looked to Brian shaking her head yes. As far as she knew Justin had been the one that had caused the trouble earlier. Brian continued on. "Justin came home today with bite marks on his back and that if I were to line Michael's mouth with the marks I bet your ass they would matchplus the bruises and scratch marks covered Justin-oh that's not all Deb-Michael had hired a guy name Joe to help him assault Justin!" Brian looked in to Michael's eyes but saw no guilt or remorse. Deb covered her mouth realizing that there had been another man with Michael earlier that day. Michael pleaded. "I swear Brian I wasn't there-Justin must be lying-I would never try to hurt him" Deb started to cry. "Oh God Michael you hurt him-I should have known better-you need help" Before Deb could get to her son Michael stood up and ran upstairs. They were crazy-he hadn't hurt Justin. But why couldn't he explain his all of a sudden memory loss. He went to the mirror and looked in. Looking closer he could swear his reflection was speaking to him. "You know you enjoyed it-Hurting Justin now if you can get Brian to see what you see then you can have him. Forever" Michael stepped back and looked at the door. He was panicked. He took out the door and in to Brian's path. Big mistake. 

Brian grabbed him and pinned him to the door. So much anger poured out. Deb had tried to pull Brian's arms away from Michael's throat but he was too strong for her. She was screaming for Brian to release him. "Your killing him-Brian he's turning blue" Michael began to black out. Brian tightened his fingers around the man shaking him violently bringing him back from the dark side. Brian screamed out. "Where is this guy-Joe- I know you hired him and he helped you terrorized Justin?" Only loosening his grip to allow him to speak. Michael coughed out the sentence."I don't know who your talking about!" Brian grew irate. Punching him in the side Michael doubled over. Brian asked him sarcastically. "Does this bring back any memories?" Vic walked down stairs to see what the commotion was. Quickly he ran to Brian's side coaxing him to let go. Knowing that Brian probably was on the verge of an emotional breakdown he spoke calm and gentle. "Brian-killing him won't take the pain away and it won't justify what Michael did to Justin. He needs you. Don't make Justin suffer any more than he already has. Let Michael go" Vic's words sank in. Brian released him as Michael gagged for air falling to the ground. He begged Brian. "Please Brian I'm your best friendDon' t go-I love you" Looking to Michael he shook his head and swore. "You couldn't be my best friend because Michael I don't even know who you are anymore-you need help-Best friends don't lie-best friends don't intentionally hurt one another" Michael walked over to Brian and whispered. "We've been best friends for so long and you're going to let some twink come in and destroy us!" Brian wiped the sweat from his brow and spoke clearly "You don't get it-Justin isn't the one destroying us-you are" He walked out the door leaving Deb with more questions and concerns. Vic looked at Deb and spoke. "I will tell you everything sis" 

Michael stood at the door and began to yell. "Fuck you Brian-Justin deserved it all" Vic walked over to him and pulled him in to a hug and tried to calm him. He spoke. "Michael its going to be okay-Brian is really upset right now. Let him cool off" Michael slouched as his best friend disappeared. He was going crazy and that stupid little blond twink was to blame. 

Brian went to Babylon in search for a particular person. Standing in the door he soon found who he was looking for. He approached and spoke. "Oggy-its been awhile" Smirking Oggy continued to scope out the fresh meat. He nodded and replied."Yea its been quite some timewhat do you need?" Knowing full well Brian never associated himself with his group unless he needed a favor. Which he was always happy to oblige. Brian asked. "Heard anything new?" Brian knew Oggy was with a rough crowd but he was good at what he did. Oggy looked at him and gave a deep penetrating smile. He spoke. "Words on the street-your best buddy and hired goon set one of your tricks up" Brian raised his eye brow knowing Oggy knew more. Ignoring the comment about Justin being a trick he asked "So do you know this guy and where I can find him?" ;p Oggy laughed sadistically and spoke. "Yea I can take you to him-no problem, but you know the fee" Brian nodded his head and replied. "Let's go now" Both men exited the club and went to go find Joe. Both men climbed out of the jeep. The building was more than a sty; it was out right disgusting. Oggy handed a paper with a number on it. Pointing he spoke."That's the number where you'll find him." Holding out his hand Brian laid the money down. He entered the roach infested hell and made his way up to the broken rusted stairwell. Reaching the door he pounded loudly. A tall guy about the same height as him stood at the door. Brian calmly said his name. "Joe?" The man looked Brian over assuming he was there for other business and spoke "Yea that's mewhat can I do for you?" Brian didn't waste any time. He quickly pounced on the man before he had any time to react. Blow after blow was thrown on to the man. Brian only relinquish when he heard the man plead for his pathetic life. Brian pulled the man close and yelled."What the fuck did you do to my lover? 

Joe crouched in the corner trying to remember what he had done in the last few days. He quietly repeated. "I don't know what you mean..man" Brian balled up his fist and growled "Wrong answer" The man knew he better spill. "Ok I was hired by this guy to help him kick some little twink's ass-that's all" Brian felt the furry build. He kicked the man and hit him once again before he spoke. "That twink is minenow tell me what the hell did you do!" Joe clutched his ribs and spilled his guts on the floor. Brian wasn't impressed. Pulling the man from the corner. Joe told him everything. Brian wasn't convinced. He spoke. "Did you touch him?" Joe knew exactly what he was asking and replied quickly. "No, I swear I didn't, I just held the kid down so Mike could take care of his business." Brian hit him one more time causing the man to stumble a few steps. He let his tone in his voice express the warning with the words he spoke."Remember this night because if you come near Justin again I wont be so lenient" Joe nodded his head in agreement and swore under his breath that he would never go near him nor that little blond twink again. Brian straightened his shirt and walked out of the door slamming it shut cursing under his breath "Fucking pathetic asshole" 

Brian returned to the loft to see Justin standing at the door way. Tears stained his swollen eyes. He had apparently gotten up looking for Brian but when he couldn't find him he was too scared to go back to bed. The nightmares were to much for him to handle. Brian spoke softly. "Justin-baby lets go to bed" He looked at him scared to ask but he had to. "Whh where did you go?" Brian took the man by the hand and spoke again. "I had to take care of some business" Justin knew he wasn't going to get any more info out of him. He bit his lip and followed Brian back to bed. As Brian laid down and relax he looked to see Justin standing. He asked. "What's wrong baby?" Justin rubbed his neck and shrugged his shoulders before he spoke. "I can't sleep" Brian pulled the man to the bed and wrapped his arms around him. He knew Justin needed comfort. He whispered lovingly. "Did you have a bad dream?" Justin nodded his head yes. He knew if he had spoke his voice would have given him away. He was on the edge of emotional devastation. He settled on the bed next to Brian and let himself take in a few deep breaths before he spoke "Brian I know you went to see Michael" Brian sat up but didn't release the teen. He quietly stated. "What are you talking about?" He was hoping that Justin would leave it alone. Justin continued. "Brian-Deb called a little while ago tomorrow their putting Michael in a psych ward" Brian knew that something had to give and it had taken their friendship to make Michael understand that he needed help. 

Brian didn't say much. "damn Deb-she shouldn't have disturbed youMikey' s my problem not yours" Justin covered his face with his hands and began to shake. Justin let the words fall with so much emotion. "I can't do this-I'm a fucking mess and.." Before he could finish Brian pressed his soft lips against his and whispered. "Sometimes late at night I lay awake and watch you sleeping-did you know that? a thought crosses my mind-If I never wake up in the morning-will you know how much I love you-Justin do you know how much I love you? My love for you will carry both of us through this hell-I made a promise to myself-To let you know how I feel every day in some way-whatever it takes baby we will get through this" Justin let his head fall upon Brian's shoulder. His words were always so comforting. Justin whispered. "Brian I love you." Justin closed his eyes fighting back more tears. Brian wiped them away and spoke. "Justin I love you more than words can express" Brian pulled the smaller man in to a tighter hold. Both warm and relaxed they fell asleep. 

*Morning*  
Brian turned over to see Justin staring at him. Those baby blues always made him melt but something was different. His voice cracked. "You ok?" Justin looked scared and slowly spoke "Deb is sitting on the couch with Michael-they want to talk to me but I can't. Brian I can't talk right now-it took everything I have to walk out of that room without losing it" Brian shook his head and cursed under his breath. "what the fuck is she thinking-bringing Michael here" He got out of bed ignoring the fact that he was naked and stormed over to them and exploded. "What the fuck are you here for?" Michael couldn't resist the urge to stare. Brian truly was beautiful. Deb looked over Brian's shoulder searching for Justin. She began to talk."We came to see Justin. so if you would kindly go get him and" Before she could spit out another word Michael cut in. "Listen Brianthese last few days have been a nightmare. I am going to see a doctor today to see why I keep having these black outs. I don't remember where I am or what I am doing. I need to tell Justin I'm sorry if I did something to upset him" Brian had heard enough and expressed his thoughts vocally. "You think coming over here and blurting out your sorry is going to make things better?-sorry is bullshit Mikey and so are you! now get the fuck out before I kick you out!" Brian meant every word. Deb stood up and motioned for Michael to follow. Deb blurted out. "Brian I know your being over protective of Justin and I understand but Michael will need closure with you and Justin's relationship-I will keep in touch" After a few moments the loft was silent. Justin did not move from the bed. He almost wanted to laugh at them but didn't. It really wasn't funny anyway. He could feel a headache coming on and knew it was going to be a bad one. He laid down on his back and closed his eyes hoping that he could fall back to sleep. 

Brian entered the room and spoke. "Justin I have to go in to the office for a few hours-are you going to be ok?" Justin rolled on his side and smiled. He nodded his head and replied. "Yea I'm just going to lay here for a while" Even though Brian could tell his smile was nothing but a cover he really had to go to the office. Ryder already had his ass in a sling and he didn't need anymore shit. He gathered his work and promised he wouldn't be more than a few hours-and that he would call Justin. He opened his eyes once again. He tried to act normal as the light hurt his eyes. He nodded his head Ok. Brian grabbed his keys and gave Justin a quick kiss and went to work. As he heard the door shut Justin got up and went to the kitchen and got one of his pain medicines out of the cabinet. He only used it if his headache got really bad. He knew he had to wait until Brian left because if he had known that he needed the drug he would have never went to work. Justin could only think that he had fucked up Brian's life enough that at least he could do was keep from fucking up his work. He took the meds with some water and went to the bathroom. He wet a wash cloth and put it to his forehead. Walking back to the bed he could already feel the effects on his body. He lay back on the bed and covered up. Sunlight poured in to the room and it made him toss and turn. He stumbled out of bed and took a sheet and covered up the window blocking all sunlight. He quickly returned to bed and covered up once again. He was asleep in matter of minutes. 

*Meanwhile*   
Brian had stopped by the office only to learn that Cynthia had called out sick. Brian knew he wasn't going to be just a couple of hours. He might be stuck there all day. He settled down at his desk and began to shuffle through some files. No matter how much concentration he directed to this project his thoughts kept going back to his lover. Brian looked over at a picture that sat at his desk. It had been taken a few months ago. Both men were smiling and holding on to each other. He loved that moment. He let his finger glide over the glass and it settled upon Justin's face. Those baby blues made him surrender to love. He smiled as his thoughts continued. Picking up the phone he dialed a particular business and spoke "Hello yes this is Mr. Kinney I need.." As his conversation continued Ryder walked in. Ending the call he looked at him and said. "yes" Ryder just stood there then as if he had forgotten what he was going to say he walked out. Brian shrugged his shoulders and went back to work. After a few hours of trying to force himself to work he finally decided to go grab something for lunch and then head back to the loft. He picked up the phone and called the loft to see if Justin wanted to join him. After about 5 rings Brian's patience was thinning. He thought. "Ok he thought to himself did he need to go anywhere today?" Brian left his work and jumped in to the jeep and headed straight for the loft knowing that Justin was home for the day. His cell phone rang."let it be Justin" He answered the phone "Justin?" Only crying in the back ground. Brian's heart sank as he asked. "Who is this?" Not recognizing the whimper. "Its me Mikey-have you've forgotten me already" Laughing hysterically Michael continued to talk. Brian interrupted him. "Why are you calling?" He wanted to keep the line free if Justin was going to call. Michael whined. "I hate it here. I'm in this small little room with no windows and I'm not allowed to do anything by myself. Brian could you please come visit me?" Brian was only half listening to the conversation but knew Michael was trying to manipulate the situation. He replied."Only when you get better I'll visit you" With that said "good-bye Mikey" Hanging up the phone Brian pulled up to the loft. Instead of walking to the door he took off in a quick sprint. He unlocked the door and ran in. There on the bed lay Justin holding a dozen roses asleep. Brian walked over checking to make sure he was alive. Touching his forehead he noticed he was warm. 

Justin had the card in his hand that had been address to Justin Taylor. Brian picked it up and read it aloud. "Faithfully, I'm still yours I'm forever yours Ever yours - faithfully" Flipping the card around it read. "I Love you always Love Brian" He couldn't help but smile at the man. Justin opened his eyes and smiled back. His words poured out. "I Love you" Brian taking one of the roses that lay in a bundle held it to his face taking in the sweet scent and spoke the same words. "I love you too"


	6. Bleeding Emotions

Following Morning Brian could hear the water running. Justin was up early. He climbed out of bed and joined the man in the shower. Not speaking any words the emotion between the two was enough to understand. Brian was the first to break the silence. "Feeling better?" Justin looked to the man and spoke. "Yea actually I do" Justin had been feeling better but his thoughts were distracting him from this beautiful man that stand in front of him. Brian could tell that something was on his mind. Brian lifted Justin`s chin up and whispered "We need to discuss a few things" Justin looked away not sure if he even really wanted to know. The last few days haven't been what you would called great. Brian took him in to his hold and spoke. "I was serious when I asked you to marry me and I want to discuss when were going to tie the knot" Letting his tender lips pressed against his, Justin closed his eyes. Brian pulled away waiting for him to respond. "Well?" Justin smiled and then replied "How about tomorrow-just you and me?" Brian looked in to his beautiful blues eyes looking to see if he was serious. He let out a laugh and then responded. "Yea right-I figured you want a big wedding with everyone there making a big deal over us" Justin shook his head no and continued. "I just want it to be you and me-no interruptions." Justin was afraid if there was a big family Brian might back out and change his mind. Brian pulled him closer and agreed. "Ok Sonny Boytomorrow it is" They had plans to make. Brian was the first to get out of the shower. He needed to make some arrangements. It didn't take him long. He had been thinking more about it each day that passed. He had most of the arrangements made before hand but he never let on to anyone. 

He needed Justin to be his partner for life. Justin smiled as he did a little dance in the shower. He couldn't believe it. Tomorrow he was going to be Justin Taylor Kinney and nothing was going to take that away from him. Michael was locked in a loony bin and every one wouldn't know until they came back. He jumped out of the shower and headed toward Brian who was on the phone. He was going to have some fun. He knelt down and let his wet lips slide down Brian's stomach. Slowly planting kisses on his thigh Brian tried to contain his moans. The lady on the other end was asking Brian a question. "Excuse me sir? Where did you want to go?" Brian looked down to the boy running his fingers through his wet hair. He choked out. "2 round tickets to Hawaii First Class-I already have them reserved" Justin engulfed him causing Brian to nearly drop the phone. He spat out. "You're going to get it" Brian looked up and spoke in the phone. "No, I was not talking to you Miss. I was talking to my lover here who is sucking me off and its hard for me to talk to you and watch him so if you would hurry a little faster so I can take him in the room and fuck him I would appreciate it." Justin released him and rolled over laughing hysterically. Brian could be so forward. The woman on the phone was speechless. Brian smiled and pulled Justin off the floor. Calling him. "Justin, Come here you little devil" Justin let the stronger man embrace him. These moments are the ones he always cherished. The lady chimed in. "Sir I've got you 2 tickets First class" Brian wrote the info down and prepared to hang up. She giggled out her next reply."Sir have a wonderful day." Brian hung the phone up. 

He picked Justin up and took him to the bed and growled a seductive moan. "I'm going to make you scream my name" Justin smiled and replied. "Well, that's not going to be hard to do" That got him a slap on the butt. Justin asked. "So when are we leaving?" Brian smirked and then answered "That's all you care about? I've got a hard on from hell and you want to know when" Justin wrapped his arms around the man gazing in to his mesmerizing hazel eyes. Brian always felt entranced by his stares not even realizing Justin felt the same way. Brian blurted out what Justin asked. "We have 2 hours before our flight goes out" Justin thought he had heard wrong and asked again. "What?" Brian laughed a little and said it again. "Should I spell it out for you or use sign language-which would you prefer?" Justin couldn't believe it. "Oh my God Brian we have to pack" He jumped up quickly and turned to go but Brian took hold of his wrist and asked him. "Where do you think your going" Justin looked confused. He spoke. "Brian don't we need to be going" He loved that innocent expression Justin carried. He truly had fallen hard for the boy. He stood up and kissed him. Nodding his head he replied. "Yea but you owe me big time" Justin smiled and began to pack. Brian pulled out a suitcase and put it by the door and called out. "I'm done" Justin looked at him amazed. He repeated what Brian had said. "You're done? You already packed?" He smiled not letting him know that he had been packed since the day he had asked Justin to marry him. Justin packed within a few minutes and they both walked out the door. Both had butterflies floating in their stomach trying to escape. They looked at each other interlacing their hands and walked to the jeep. Brian hadn't told anyone where they were going. He just left a message on Lindsey's machine. "going away with Justin be back in a week or so" 

Getting on the airplane they headed to a couple seats in the middle. Justin had pointed out that the middle was the best place to survive in a crash. He blurted out some thing he learned on the discovery channel. "Statistics compared with airplane crashes that most survivors came from the middle." Justin smiled and Brian rolled his eyes and responded "Thanks for that tidbit of information that I likely will never use but this is first class and technically were in front." Justin hadn't thought about that. Brian squeezed his hand and assured him "Were going to be ok" Justin smiled and pulled out his sketchbook. After an hour or so in the air Brian got up and went to the rest room. A few minutes had past but no Brian. Justin was getting antsy. He couldn't help but think that he went off to fuck someone. He got up and made his way to the bathroom. He jiggled the door knob, It was unlocked. He walked in and saw Brian sitting there on the toilet smiling. He knew that smile. Brian sarcastically announced. "Its about damn time you came looking for me!" Justin smiled and closed the door. Brian continued. "I told you that you owed me big. didn't I? " Justin couldn't wipe his grin off his face. Brian pulled him closer attacking his lips. Undressing in small areas was not as hard as some thought. Both naked they attacked each others flesh. Elbows touching walls holding their bodies close and loud moans came from the tiny room Justin couldn't get a good hold on to Brian's neck and slipped hitting the door hard. BANG BANG. the door rattled. A stewardesses came and softly knocked at the door and spoke. "Excuse me-are you okay in there-do you need any help?" Without a reply Brian picked Justin up and leaned him on the door ramming him with his hard cock. Justin could barely contain his voice. "Brian God fuck me harder" The lady motioned over another person. Both knocked loudly and spoke in unison. "Were coming in" Justin looked to Brian not wanting the moment to be interrupted. He smiled back. Brian let out a loud moan and then responded "No, I'm ok Just working out some shit" Everyone in First class watched that door as it creaked with noise. They watched closely waiting to see who came out. 

A particular man who seemed more interested stood up and walked to the door and put his ear close. He could hear Justin begging him for release. The stranger backed away with a smirk on his face. He stood by the door waiting. Brian finished his love taps and they both hit ecstasy at the same time. Kissing one more time they began to clean up. Both men took a few more minutes just to make the crowd wait in anticipation. Opening the door eyes were on both of them. Brian looked to the stewardess and stated. "Seizures-he cant help them" Brian had been pointing to Justin smiling his attractive "I'll fuck you right now smile." Passing the man who had listened to them Brian noticed the look of lust in his eyes. He pulled Justin in to a tight hold and returned to their seats. Watching this man who never took his eyes off them. 

Justin was lost in his own thoughts not aware that there was possible danger. He thought "Brian always made sex interesting."Justin couldn't help but look around to see all the eyes. He didn't care until he noticed the man too. He looked to Brian to see if he had noticed. Justin leaned in to Brian and whispered. "Brian?" Brian took hold of his hand and kissed it. He quietly spoke. "Its ok I'll take care of it" The man stood up and began to walk over but Brian immediately stood up waiting. He approached face to face and said nothing at first. Brian put on his I'll kick your fucking ass look if you mess with me or Justin. He would defend his man if necessary. Both men stood eye to eye looking for weaknesses. Brian blurted out."What the fuck do you want?" The guy looked over to Justin and held up his hand to wave and then back to Brian. He had a soft voice nothing compared to what you would have thought. "Here is my number if you want to meet up with me later-bring the kid too. I'll be here all week" Brian usually never swayed from a threesome but he wasn't about to ruin this for Justin and truthfully he didn't want to share Justin with anyone. He rolled his eyes and sat back down dismissing the man. Justin watched the large guy sit back down and take out a book to read. He looked to Brian and slightly kissed him on the cheek The trip was relaxing and before they knew it they were arriving at their destination. 

Justin had fallen asleep. Brian gently woke him "Justin my love were here" He opened his eyes smiling. They exited the plane and gathered their luggage. A man standing in a Hawaiian shirt and khaki shorts held up a sign. "Kinney" Brian and Justin gathered their stuff and walked over. Hand in hand they enjoyed the drive to their hotel. Brian had picked out a beautiful location. The Fairmont Kea Lani Maui. It was a luxury hotel. The hotel was done in a white on white decor that takes on a heavenly atmosphere when surrounded by the white clouds blue Maui sky and the deep blue Pacific Ocean and cresting white surf. Nothing could be more perfect than this. As they checked in Justin immediately noticed the room. He looked around the one bedroom suite He noticed it was equipped with a range of amenities that include a microwave oven, refrigerator and coffee maker, a 27 inch and 19 inch remote controlled cable TV, a CD and laser disk player, AM/FM radio, video cassette player, and a 2 line speakerphone with modem port. He was amazed. But knew most of what was in the room they wouldn't even bother using Justin turned to Brian and asked him. "Brian how much is this going to cost?" Brian had disappeared in to the bathroom checking out the possible activities they could conjure up later that evening. The bathroom was very large enough for an oversized bathtub and a walk-in shower alcove, twin pedestal sinks, hair dryer and lighted make-up mirror. Brian could only smile his devilish grin when he saw the oversize bath tub. He looked back toward the room and spoke. "What Justin I didn't hear you" Justin joined him and saw the bathroom. His face lit up and a grin appeared on his face too. "I was going to ask you how much was this going to cost but damn this bathroom is huge" Brian pulled the man closer and whispered. "Don't worry about money-were here to enjoy ourselves" Justin pulled away and headed for the balcony. Brian followed taking the young man's hand. 

Walking out the double glass painted door there stood in front of them an amazing view of the Pacific Ocean. Justin felt the wind caress his cheek and let the site take him in. He could only whisper "Its so beautiful" Brian was staring at him and could only reply. "Yes, it is-I've never seen anything more beautiful" Justin turned away from the ocean and looked in to those deep hazel eyes. Tears glistened as he spoke. "Brian you are so ridiculously romantic" Brian smirked and replied "Don't tell no one-its our little secret" They both embraced and headed back inside. After a few hours of walking the beach and scoping out their new environment for the week they found themselves back in the hotel on the soft bed kissing. Justin wasn't sure when they were going to get married he just knew it was going to be some time today. Coming for air Justin spoke. "Brian when are" Before he could finish a knock came to the door. Brian stood up and adjusted his cock that was growing harder by the moment. Opening the door. "Hello Mr. Kinney Our services have been prepared and we are ready-shall I tell them you are" Brian looked to his love and then spoke. "We will be down in 15 minutes" Justin jumped off the bed and walked next to him. Brian tipped the man and shut the door. He turned to Justin and whispered. "Well, in a few minutes you're going to be Justin Taylor Kinney" Justin stepped back letting the name sink in. It was so wonderful. Brian pulled out two tuxedo's. Justin smiled and couldn't help but giggle. Brian looked to him in question. "What's so funny?" Justin picked up the suit. "For this being a last minute trip you sure seem to have everything planned perfect" He smirked and replied. "I am Brian Kinney-you know" Both of them laughing they showered ignoring the fact they both were horny and wanted to take advantage of the bath tub they finished and dressed. Walking out the door Brian gave a small peck on Justin's cheek and spoke. "Are you ready for this" Justin could barely express his feelings. He had been waiting for this moment for so long and here it is. He nodded his head and spoke "Yea, my entire life" Smiling they both went down stairs and waited for the limousine but what they saw was a horse drawn carriage. The horse was beautiful and the carriage was exquisite. They both climbed in and sat holding each others hand. 

The trip did not take as long as they had thought. The click clacking of the horse's shoes had put both men in to a trance. Neither of them had rode in one before. The carriage came to a stop and the driver turned around and spoke. "I'm not able to go any further-the sand is too soft for the horse pulling the carriage you will have to walk the rest of the way" Neither of them cared. They both were lost in love. Brian helped Justin out of the carriage. Nothing looked out of the ordinary. Justin looked to Brian as if this is it" Brian took the mans hand and whispered. "Just wait" Standing in front was a large white building. Before Justin could reach the door Brian pulled him around. There behind the church stood an inspirational site that no one could have imagined. The landscape was sprinkled with white sand covered with pink and red petals. The ceremony was going to be held under the setting sun. The evening was crisp and the palm trees swayed as a cool breeze swirled off the ocean. Brian and Justin walked down to the waters edge and removed their shoes. The sand was soft and wet and it felt cool upon their feet. Splashing water with their feet they noticed a man who walked over and greeted them. "Hello I am Reverend Tom Bonanon and I will be of service to you both this evening" Brian and Justin followed him leaving two set of prints in the delicate sand. They stood underneath the sky which began to cast a yellow blue light upon the clouds and left glowing shadows that glistened off the water. Justin looked up and admired it. His thoughts were lost as he let the image burn in to his mind. 

He would have to sketch this later. A quick flash brought him out of his day dream. A short little man was taking pictures. "Smile pretty boy" Justin smiled and looked to Rev. Tom who stood in front and asked them to take each others hand. They did. Brian took a deep breath and looked to Justin. The reverend continued. "Now Mr. Kinney I believe that you had a few words you would like to share." Justin looked to Brian not knowing that he was going to speak more words than I do. But he was speaking and Justin open his ears and closed out his wandering thoughts. "Justin-Look into my eyes-you will see-What you mean to me-Search your heartsearch your soul-And when you find me there you'll search no moreDon' t tell me it's not worth tryin' for-You can't tell me it's not worth dyin' for-You know it's true-Everything I do - I do it for youLook into your heart-you will find-There's nothin' there to hide-Take me as I am-take my life-I would give it all-I would sacrifice-Don't tell me it's not worth fightin' for-I can't help it-there's nothin' I want more-Ya know it's true-Everything I do-I do it for you-There's no love-like your love-And no other-could give more love-There's nowhere-unless you're there-All the time-all the way-Oh-you can't tell me it's not worth tryin' for-I can't help it-there's nothin' I want more-I would fight for you-I'd lie for you-Walk the wire for youya I'd die for you-Ya know it's true-Everything I do-I do it for you" (Bryan Adams-Everything I do") 

Brian saw the tears that began to run down his cheek. Grasping his hand tighter he whispered. "You know its true-everything I do-I do for you-I love you" Justin bit his lip and sucked in the tears. Rev Tom looked to Justin. "Any words? Justin nodded his head and began "Maybe it's intuition-But some things you just don't questionLike in your eyes-I see my future in an instant-And there it goes-I think I've found my best friend-I know that it might sound more than a little crazy-But I believe-I knew I loved you before I met you-I think I dreamed you into life-I knew I loved you before I met you-I have been waiting all my life-There's just no rhyme or reason-Only this sense of completion-And in your eyes-I see the missing piecesI' m searching for-I think I've found my way home-I know that it might sound more than a little crazy-But I believe-I knew I loved you before I met you-I think I dreamed you into life-I knew I loved you before I met you-I have been waiting all my life-A thousand angels dance around you-I am complete now that I've found you-I knew I loved you before I met you-I think I dreamed you into life-I knew I loved you before I met you-I have been waiting all my life" (Savage GardenI knew before I met you) Justin looked in to those beautiful hazel eyes seeing the tears flow so easily. He continued. "Brian I waited all my life to hold you and I will never let you go-I love you" Both men with tears flowing Rev Tom came to the part. "Do you Brian Kinney take Justin Taylor in sickness and in health to have to hold and cherish forever?" Brian smiled and replied. "I do-Today Tomorrow and Forever" Justin could feel his heart pounding as Rev Tom asked the same. "Do you Justin Taylor take Brian Kinney in sickness and health in good times and bad to love and to hold and cherish forever?" Justin looked back in to Brian's eyes. "I do" Brian took the man in to strong hold as the Rev continued. "Now I pronounce you partners for life Brian and Justin Kinney-you may kiss" A small kiss felt as the emotions poured out. Rev Tom left the two men embracing as the sun set.


	7. Bleeding Emotions

As the sun continued to set Brian and Justin began to dance. The orchestra that played in the back ground was playing a song by [Anne Murray-could I have this dance] They let the words take them in to dips and twirls. Both men whispered the words softly never letting their eyes waiver. "I'll always remember-the song they were playing- the first time we dance and I knew-As we sway to the music and held to each other-I fell in love with you-Could I have this dance-for the rest of my life-would you be my partner-every night-when were together if feels so right-could I have this dance-for the rest of my life-I'll always remember-that magic moment-when I held you close to me-as we move together-I know forever-You're all I'll ever need-could I have this dance-for the rest of my life-would you be my partnerevery night-when were together-it feels so right-could I have this dance-for the rest of my life-could I have this dance- for the rest of my life- would you be my partner- every night when were together- it feels so right- could I have this dance for the rest of my life" They continued to dance until the sun went down leaving a moon light cast over them. Justin took this moment to etched in his memory of the events that had taken place. These were going to be some of the most beautiful pictures he will ever sketch. They both watched the waves roll in. Silence surrounded them other than the waves crashing against the rocks they were alone. Brian pulled Justin in to a long passionate kiss. He trembled as the cool air snaked its way in between. He wrapped his arms around tighter creating warmth. Justin looked up in to Brian's eyes. He would cherished this moment for the rest of his life. He would replace all the bad memories with the good ones. "No longer will I dream without you" 

They spent the week in heaven and when it was time for them to leave they both walked out hand in hand smiling. The plane trip home seemed like it only took a few minutes. They were back in the Pitts. They were back in reality. Brian turned his cell phone on to see if he had any messages. "You have 157 messages" He looked to Justin smirking. "I have 157 messages waiting" Justin could only bet that most were from Michael. He laughed as he spoke. "Well, you better start calling" They found the jeep parked where they had left it a week ago. Both men hurried to load the jeep and get out of the parking garage. The feeling that overwhelmed them was unforgettable. The bashing would never escape their minds. Climbing in they drove home to the loft. Justin wouldn't let Chris Hobbs ruin his life anymore. He turned to Brian and smiled and then spoke. "I love you" Brian let the smile escape and quickly glanced at the man and said the same. "I love you too" Finally reaching the loft Justin jumped out and ran up to the loft laughing. A part of him was thrilled they had come home. Everyone was going to be surprised that they were married and it was legal. 

He smirked knowing Michael was going to have a heart attack. But the other half didn't want to leave the island. They had been locked away from everything. Nothing could touch them. His thoughts were distracted as he saw Brian carrying all the luggage in. Brian grunted out. "Could you help" He ran over there and grabbed his back pack from him. Justin replied. "Better?" Laughing he helped take some of the luggage and set it down. The phone rang. Brian rolled his eyes. "Were not even in the fucking door yet" Picking up the phone he could hear Deb ranting "Where the fuck have you been? Where's Sunshine-you better have not done anything to that boy because Brian I will come and personally kick your ass" Brian smiled knowing she was just an over protective mother. Brian took in a breath and spoke. "Deb will you let me speak? Justin and I needed some time alone-since he didn't have to work at the diner I thought it was a perfect time" 

Justin was standing next to Brian nudging him and whispering. "Tell her" Brian rolled his eyes but was still smiling. Pulling Justin to his side and wrapping his arm around he let the words fly out "Deb you act like we cant have any peace on our honey moon" He waited for Deb to process the info. She screamed in to the phone. "What did you just say-you and Sunshine are married-Fuck hold on" A few minutes pass and Brian was about ready to hang up. Justin stopped him. "Don't hang up she might of had a customer" She returned to the phone. Brian impatiently asked. "What were you doing?" Deb as calmly as she could. "I thought hell froze over so I had to go check" Laughing she was desperate to get all the details. She continued."We have to have a dinner party-understand!" Brian knew there was no arguing with her. He agreed. "Ok Talk to Justin-I have to put some things away" Handing the phone over he went to the kitchen to grab a bottle of water. Justin put the phone to his ear to hear Deb. "Hi sunshine-how does it feel to be the only man who could snag the great Brian Kinney" Justin couldn't help but giggle. Brian stared over knowing Deb was probably having a field day with the news. Justin started to tell her how the trip went. "Yea I'm happy-Oh you should have seen itit was the most beautiful place" Deb could hear the happiness that played in his voice. She spoke. "I bet it was baby-I wish we could have been there" Justin put down the phone down and ran to his bag and returned to the phone before she even realized he had left. Justin continued to talk. 

"Deb we had it video taped-We all can watch it sometime" Deb could hear a customer calling. "Sweetie I have to go but bring it with you tomorrow night at 7pm for dinner ok?" Justin replied yes and hung the phone up. Turning to Brian. "Deb wants us for dinner tomorrow at 7." Brian stood up and wrapped his arms around the man and began to sway back and forth. "Could I have this dance for the rest of my life?" No matter how many times Brian spoke those words Justin's heart skipped a beat. Justin looked in to his eyes and replied. "Always and Forever." They held each close kissing. "Ring" "Ring" Brian looked over to the phone not sure if he even wanted to answer it. Taking his eyes of his love he went and picked up the phone. "Hello" Brian's expression changed from being happy to almost upset in less than 3 seconds. "Ok calm down Mikey-it's going to be ok" Justin wondered what Michael could have said that would have made Brian look worried. He moved to the couch and tried to listen to the conversation. Brian glanced over to the boy and flashed him a smile letting him know everything was ok. Justin didn't buy it. After a few moments He hung the phone up and spoke. "Justin I need to go out-I will be back in a while."He knew whatever Michael had said had upset the man. Justin had to ask. "Are you ok?" Brian picked up his keys and responded. "I'm dandy" He walked out the door without saying anything else. 

Justin walked over to the phone and called Deb. No answer. He looked at his watch 10:38pm. He knew he wouldn't be able to sleep in the bed alone. He announced out loud "I guess I can sketch awhile." He went to his back pack and pulled out the essentials. Beginning with the moment of the sun setting with shadows. That was one of his favorites. He sketched ferociously. He sat down his sketch and rubbed his head. It was now 12:18 in the morning and he could feel a headache start. He got up and took some medicine leaving it on the counter, he sat back down to finish his sketch. Before long he could feel the his eyes slipping in to a deep sleep. The medicine that the Dr had prescribed was strong and always knocked him out. But the headache was always gone when he awoke so it was worth it. He tried to fight it but soon he was sleeping on the couch like a baby. Still holding on to his drawing that nearly was done. 2:47am Brian opened the loft door cursing at himself for leaving Justin alone to take care of Michael's over dramatic episode. They had plans and once again Michael figured out a way to get in the middle. He knew that Michael was devastated at their engagement. But even worse he crumbled when he found out they were married. The Dr. thought it had been best if he had come over to the hospital and speak with Michael. The man had become more distraught since no one knew of his and Justin's whereabouts. He explained to him but being Michael he wasn't willing to believe that Justin had finally broken down Brian's wall. 

Brian was invincible so Michael thought. Coming back from his thoughts he couldn't help smile seeing Justin curled up on the couch. He walked over to the kitchen to get a bottle of water when he noticed the pain killers. He cursed. "Fuck-he must have had a headache" He truly did look like an angel resting. Brian knew that the medicine put him in to a semi coma. He walked over and gently pulled the canvas from his tight hold. He looked at the picture. Justin was a brilliant artist. He captured every moment and was able to put it on paper. Letting his fingers trace the outline he let his mind take him back to that moment. The words Justin had said I knew I loved you still could be heard. He put the drawing in the corner and walked back to the sleeping boy. Caressing his cheek he carefully took Justin into his arms placing a kiss on his sweet lips he carried him to the bed. Holding him close at that very moment he didn't want to let go. But he began to get heavy so he laid him on the bed and began to undress him. Justin did not move at all. Brian rolled him in to the bed and covered him up. He then quickly check to make sure the door was locked lights were off and then undress and climbed in to bed. Justin rolled over and put his arm around him. Brian knew the man was still asleep but he could tell that Justin was content now that he was there. Being the happiest he's ever been he let his eyes drift and soon fell in to deep sleep. 

*The Following Morning*  
Brian woke up to hear that familiar sound. He let out a moan. "Justin again?" He had been sketching him again. Brian threw the covers over his head and groaned. "Do you want me to give you a reason to moan and groan?" Brian peeked his head out smiling. "What do you have in mind-sonny boy?" Justin got out of bed and went to retrieve something from his back pack. Brian knew he was up to something. Upon returning He had a several paint brushes and water colors. "What the hell are you going to do with those?" He was intrigued. "Just let me touch you and I will show you" Brian closed his eyes while the teen straddled him. The sensation of Justin's cool skin touching his warm flesh was sending him in to over drive. Justin's cock resting upon his pelvic He could feel his growing with anticipation. Justin using his finger tips took blue and some orange and slowly ran it along his torso. The coldness of the paints mixed with his fingers sent chills to his groin. Adding a little more paint and a few other colors Justin began to make short strokes above his mid drift. Brian watched intensely as Justin put so much energy in to his painting. his breathing became more erotic as he gently let his cock slide in to the paint. Brian to was becoming more aroused. Letting his finger tips smear the wet paint he helped create a masterpiece on a masterpiece. Stopping Brian took the man in to a long passionate kiss. Both bodies intertwine as they continued. The paint was forgotten as they began to lose themselves in to another world. Each coming to orgasm quickly. Brian could feel the paint harden and let his hand touch the work of art that was plastered on his chest and stomach. He wasn't able to make it all out but he knew it was the both of them. 

Justin pulled away smiling. "Do you want to see what I painted on you?" Brian got up and went to the bathroom mirror. It was beautiful. It was both men dancing under a moon light. Justin came up to him. "This is going to be a little painful but hold still. Brian stood there as he watched Justin pull the painting off his body. The painting was still perfect. He held it up so they both could get a look at it. Justin turned to his lover and kissed the slightly red area and then went to put the painting on a canvas. He named it "A masterpiece on a masterpiece" Brian turned on the shower and walked in letting the hot water soothe his mind. He could hear the phone ring but didn't think much of it. Justin picked up the phone. "Hello" Nothing but silence. "Hello-anyone there?" He could hear breathing but couldn't make out who it was. He got ready to hang it up when he heard the distinct growl. "You-you think because your married now that Brian will change-he's going to continue his life and leave you behind" Justin didn't even respond. He hung the phone up and walked to the bathroom and spoke. "Brian? Michael called-just to let you know in advance I hung up on him." Justin didn't wait for a reply. He walked out of the bathroom and sat on the couch naked and upset. Brian turned off the water and wrapped himself up in a towel and walked out to Justin and spoke. "What happened?" Justin was hoping by some small miracle that Michael would finally be able to accept him in to their little happy family. Justin expressed his emotions openly. "Michael will never accept me-No matter what he will always throw it in my face that nothing matters between you and me" Brian took in a deep breath and decided that he needed to tell Justin what happened last night. Brian began ."Justin I went to see Michael last night-that's why I was gone for so long. The Dr thought it was best if I start coming to some of his sessions to help him understand that him and me can only be friends but you and I are lovers-The Dr also wants to know if you would come too-he thinks you play an important role-Justin look at me-do you think that I've forgotten all the things he did to you-how he faked his injury and blamed you or how he continued to hit you-I didn't forget and Michael knows that" Justin smirked and then spoke. "Yea his personal punching bag-Brian I don't know what if this makes it worse?" Brian knew by the way the Dr was talking Michael was going to have to have a lot of counseling. 

He tried to explain."Justin baby it cant get any worse than it is nowI told him that we were married and that nothing he could do could make me leave you or stop loving you" Justin let out a deep breath and spoke. "You told him that?" Brian nodded. Justin thought for a moment realizing that if they were going to make it he needed to help Michael understand their relationship. He agreed and spoke out. "Ok Brian I will go but I don't want to be alone with Michael" Brian could understand why. Michael had hurt Justin many times. The bruises fade but the memories don't. "Ok baby" Brian said. Justin stood up and went to take a shower as he called the Dr. "Hello yes may I speak with Dr. Marshal?" The line transferred over and a man answered. "Dr Marshal? This is Brian Kinney" The Dr didn't hesitate to interrupt. "Yes, Mr. Kinney would it be possible for you to come out today and do a session with Michael? He's really having an episode and the quicker we can stop these the better he will be" Brian checked his book of appointments. "Yes, 3:30 I have an opening and I can bring Justin with me" The Dr wrote down the time. "Excellent I will be looking forward to meeting you and Justin together." Brian hung the phone up and went to get dressed. Justin soon followed. "Justin we can grab something to eat and then head over to Shady Oaks Mental rehabilitation. Dr Marshal wants us to have a session with Michael at 3:30" He nodded his head and continued to dress. Brian watched him while he finished dressing. Brian spoke. "Justin you know you don't have to come-Mikey is my problem and I would understand if you don't want" Before he could finish Justin covered his mouth with his own. "Brian I want to help I want Michael to be happy even if he has done some shitty things to me-I don't hate him" Brian understood and pulled him in to a kiss. ."Thank you" Both men walked out the door and headed for the diner. 

*The Diner*  
Brian and Justin walked in and grabbed a seat at a booth. It didn't take long for Deb to stroll up and smile her shit eating grin. She didn't hesitate to talk either. "so how are my boys doing?" Both knew she was not going to let it go. She was going to make a big deal out it. Chewing her gum louder than usual she leaned over and smacked Brian softly on the cheek and spoke. "I knew you had it in you just didn't think it was going to be a young blond" Winking at Justin she smiled and let out a giggle. "So what's the married couple going to have?" Brian rolled his eyes and put his tongue in cheek. "I'll have my usual" Justin looked at Deb "Just some water" Before Deb walked away Brian ordered something else. "Justin will be having his usual too." Justin shot Brian a look and then spoke "I'm not hungry-who do you think you are..my daddy?" Brian smirked and then spoke his mind. "No but I am your husband and I know my Justin pooh and when we see the Dr I don't want to hear how starved you are" Justin liked the way Brian referred himself as husband but hell if he was going to be labeled the wife. Letting a smile form at the corner he spoke. "Well, just remember I'm not the girl" Deb smiled and spoke. "No your his princess" Both men let out groans. She disappeared to go fill their order knowing that they must be headed to see Michael. She returned to the table with the food. setting down the orders. She spoke. "Brian are you going to see Michael today?" Brian looked up from his plate and gave I'm that best friend look and nodded with a reply "Yes" Deb sat next to Justin and lowered her voice to speak. "I went there yesterday and he seems distant-I'm really worried about him-he wouldn't even talk to me. Maybe you can cheer him up" Justin looked to her and thought "the only way to make Michael happy was if Brian gave him a blowjob and if I would disappear out of Brian's life forever." He let out a grin that Brian soon picked up and gave a stern glance. "Deb don't worry about Michael-we will get him back to his irritating whiny self, " Deb smiled and got up. "You boys take care of yourselves and behave." Justin put on his innocent smile. As soon as she had disappeared he let his smile curve downward. 

His lips hurt. Brian wasn't much on conversation and Justin knew he was thinking of Michael. He also knew that if they didn't get Michael back to his normal self then Brian might go crazy. Justin picked up his food and pushed it aside. He really wasn't that hungry. He had Deb put in a to go box. Brian paid the check and off they went to LA LA Land. The scenery was beautiful. It was out in the country. He couldn't help but think they put the hospital out here to keep the people from escaping. His thoughts were easily shown upon his face. Brian had been watching and spoke up. "So why the good mood?" Justin looked over him and flashed his sunshine smile. Brian's heart melted. Justin spoke "I'm just happy that you let me share your best friendeven though right now Michael doesn't want me as a friend" He smiled and turned back to drive. He couldn't help but think about how strong Justin was in his life. He was more than just a lover. He had taken Michael's place. He was his best friend. But who says you cant have two best friends. Pulling up to the drive they found a perfect parking spot in the front. Parked, they got out and headed to the glass double doors. Brian wrapped his arms around him and they entered the building. Dr. Marshal approached them all most immediately and spoke. "Welcome to our facility Mr. Kinney and Mr. Kinney" Justin smiled. He had never head anyone call him by his married name. He loved it. Brian saw Justin's reaction to the name and he calmed down. He look to the Dr. and spoke "You can call us by our first name" The Dr acknowledge and told them to follow. Walking down this long corridor Brian felt his stomach turn. Glancing at Justin he could also tell he was responding the same way. 

The Dr picked up on the reaction but said nothing. They finally reached their destination. A small room with a few chairs. A mirror on the wall. Brian smirked. He knew that there were people on the other side watching and listening. Justin made his way across the room and sat down. If he was going to be in the same room with Michael at least he was going to be the farthest away. As Brian sat down he saw a nurse bring Michael in. Justin let out a deep sigh. He hadn't expected Michael to look as bad as he did. The man looked like he was just hanging on to life. Not even living it. Michael looked to Brian and only showed what seemed like a smile for a second. He hadn't noticed Justin yet. The nurse release his arm as Dr Marshal told him to take a seat. Instead Michael stared at Justin and yelled. "What the fuck are you doing here?" Justin looked to Brian then back to Michael. He stood up taking what courage he had and walked up to the sick man and spoke. "I'm here because I care" Face to face eye to eye Michael raised his hand and gently caressed Justin's cheek. Both the Dr. and Brian were ready to pounce if Michael became physical. He could sense what they were expecting from him. He growled "Do you want me to hurt you-so Brian can come to your rescue?" Justin stood back. This man was not the same. The Dr. gently pulled Michael back and made him take a seat. Justin did not return to his seat. he decided that it was best to stand just in case he needed to run. Brian stood up and went to Justin whispering "Its ok Justin-I'm not going to let anything happen..ok?" Justin nodded his head and sat next to Brian. The love and tenderness that Brian showed Justin was what Michael wanted. Michael chimed in. "Brian-why can't you love me like you do Justin-what does he have that I don't" Dr. Marshal signaled to Brian to begin. "Michael I do love you but what you want from me I cannot give-I can be your friend and I can stand by you and share happy moments but I cannot fuck you or make love to you-It could never be" Before Dr. Marshal could respond Michael had stood and charged Justin screaming "Because you never gave us a chance and then this trick showed up" Justin saw the man charge him. But before Michael had a chance to lay a finger on him Brian had gotten in the middle grabbing his waist. Brian tried to reason with him. "Michael listen to me-hurting Justin is only going to push me farther away-don't you understand that?" Michael slumped in his arms and nodded his head. 

Justin stood up and walked out the door. He walked outside and lit up a cigarette. He was shaking. He cursed himself out loud. "What the fuck was I thinking-he's never going to change" Leaning his head back against the wall he could feel his veins pulsate through his brain. closing his eyes he heard someone approach. Assuming it was Brian he spoke. "I'm sorry-I just couldn't stand being in there one more minute" Justin didn't want to open his eyes. "That's ok-what Michael is fighting is a lot stronger than he is and its going to take a whole lot more than counseling to help" Justin opened his eyes realizing that it wasn't Brian. It was Dr. Marshal. Justin quickly asked. "Where's Brian?" Dr. Marshal looked in to the doorway and spoke "He's in there with Michael" Dr. Marshal found Justin to be more than just a piece of the puzzle. Justin was the puzzle. Being a Dr. He was sworn to the patients privacy but he wondered if Justin knew Michael had fallen in love with him. It was very simple to see. 

Michael hurt Justin because he was scared of losing his love for Brian. But as time progressed he became more possessed to be with Justin but Justin was in love with Brian and wouldn't give him a chance. both men rejected him causing him to break down mentally. He could understand why Michael had fallen in love. He could see the boy had many qualities. The main reason he wanted Brian to bring Justin was to evaluate Michael's perception of the young teen. He was right when he said he was the most beautiful man that walked the earth. Losing his thoughts he let a grin creep across his face. Justin had watched the Dr's emotions on his face play out. Justin spoke up."Excuse me Dr. Marshal" The dr. shook his thoughts and looked to the man and replied. "you can call me Jarold if you like" Justin wasn't sure what was going on but he had an idea. He nodded his head and continued. "Ok what's the real reason you brought me here?" Jarold looked at his blue eyes and stepped forward and spoke softly. "I wanted to know why Michael and Brian both have such a fascination with you" Justin couldn't believe it. Here he is hitting on him while his husband is in the room with his sick best friend. Not knowing what to say he brushed against him dropping his cigarette down and went to go find Brian. He went back in to the room and stood there at the door way. His thoughts went back to what Jarold had said. "Fascination Brian and Michael" Silently he cursed. Brian looked to Justin and could read his face. Something was wrong. Dr. Marshal appeared back in the room placing his hand on Justin's shoulder and spoke. "Well, I believe we can end this session" Justin tensed and Brian reacted. Standing up he walked over to the Dr. removing his hand. Firmly stating "Mine" Justin couldn't help but smile when the Dr stood back and apologized. "I'm sorry I didn't mean anything by it" Michael stood up begging Brian not to go Brian tried to reassure him. "We will be back in a couple of days." Justin stared at Jarold while Brian and Michael said their good byes. Jarold couldn't help feel entranced by him. He turned to Michael and knew that if he didn't get them on talking terms he would never see Justin again. Jarold once again apologized. "Mr. Kinney I do apologize if I offended you" Brian nodded his head as in acceptance of the apology. Even if he didn't buy it. They were there to help Michael. But he would keep Justin close. They walked out the door and headed to the jeep leaving Michael and the Dr. in that little room. Both men wanting something they could never have. Only one man was sane enough to believe it. Was it the Dr. or was it Michael.


	8. Bleeding Emotions

Brian took Justin by the hand and walked to the jeep. As they reached the door Justin turned and looked Brian face to face and spoke. "I don't think we should leave Michael here" Brian couldn't believe that Justin could even think such a thing. He shook his head and replied. "Mikey needs help and nothing we can do will help so drop it" Climbing in the jeep both men sat silent as the radio played. Neither one of them were actually listening to the words. They were distracted by their own thoughts. Justin leaning his head on the cool window pane let his thoughts run back to what Dr. Marshal had said. He would admit to himself that the man caused great concern. Brian glanced over at him letting his own thoughts subside. Brian spoke. "Ready to go to Deb's?" Justin nodded his head. Both men hadn't thought that visiting Michael would have put such a strain on their evening. Brian drove down the road talking. "Justin I know you're worried about Michael..." Justin cut him off. "Its not so much Michael that concerns me but." He let his words trail off. He didn't want to get in to this now. He wanted to have a great time at Deb's and knowing how Brian reacts he would just piss him off. He glanced back out side and spoke. "I'll talk to you later right now lets go in there and have fun" 

Awhile passed before they saw Deb's house in the distance. Justin looked to Brian and sighed. "We need to forget about today and just relax and enjoy the dinner. They are celebrating us and I wouldn't want to ruin it". Brian nodded his head in agreement and parked the jeep. Brian spat out. "Let's not say anything about Michael tonight..ok?" First time tonight Justin actually agreed. Both men walked to the door and were greeted with hugs and kisses. Tonight was going to be all about them. As they settled on the couch Justin hit play on the VCR and watched the memories flash in front of him. Watching the wedding all over brought tears to his eyes. Even Brian seemed to show some emotion but soon was rescued from Justin's cell phone ringing. He had bought the cell to keep track of his little twink but the truth was he had given it to him just in case he was in trouble and needed him. Excusing himself from the emotional group he walked outside and spoke. "Hello?" Brian pulled out a cigarette and lit it up. "I thought you were coming over tonight? Jennifer paused and then calmly spoke. "I had something come up but could I talk with Justin please?" Brian looked inside and saw Deb attacking Justin with kisses. Reluctantly he walked inside knowing that Deb would start on him next. Brian waved Deb off and handed him the phone. "for you" Justin was able to squirm his way from her lips. Taking the phone he walked out side where Brian had been just a few minutes ago. 

Brian slid his way in to the kitchen and sat down. He loved his family but the emotions were running to high and if he stayed in there to much longer he might join their happy tears. Justin put the phone to his ear and spoke. "Hello?" Brian hadn't told him who was on the phone. Jennifer felt better and spoke. "Justin I'm sorry that I wasn't able to come and celebrate with you but" Jennifer tried to continue but her tears kept her from talking. Justin as concerned and asked. "Mom what's wrong?" Jennifer really didn't want to tell her son and upset him so she decided to change the conversation. "I'm just missing you." Justin has known his Mom all his life and he knew she was hiding something. Brian walked out side along with Deb crying and motioned for Justin to listen. Justin whispered to his mom. "Mom hold on one sec" Brian leaned up next to him and tenderly kiss his lips and then spoke. "Mikey just called-he really needs me and Deb to come out there- are you ok with that?" Justin cupped the phone so his Mom wouldn't hear. "Brian I understand-go take care of Mikey" With a quick thank you Deb and Brian walked to the jeep. Justin returned back to the phone. "I'm sorry Mom-Brian had to leave and was saying good bye" Jennifer was glad for that moment of interruption it had given her time to compose herself. She continued. "That's ok honey I need to go I love you" Justin wasn't about to give up. He spoke. "Ok Mom I love you too." He hung the phone up. He put the cell phone in his pocket and went inside. Everyone was getting their coats and beginning to leave. Justin walked up to Ted who was talking with Emmett and interrupted them. "Do you think you can take me to my mom's?" Ted looked to Emmett. Brian had asked if he could take Justin home and he had agreed. Ted nodded his head and spoke. "Yea sure" Justin grabbed his jacket and told the remaining guest good bye. The ride over was quick and the conversation mild. Pulling up to the drive Ted smiled and shyly asked. "Do you want me to wait?" Justin smiled back and spoke. "No, I'll manage" With that said Ted drove away leaving him standing in front of his house. He saw a light on and knocked. Jennifer answered the door but said nothing. Justin could feel the anger build. He demanded to know. "Where is he Mom?" Jennifer began to cry out. "He didn't mean to hit me-it was an accident" Jennifer's eye was swollen shut and the skin torn a little. Justin looked at her and honestly asked her a question. "Was it over me?" She turned away not wanting to answer. She didn't have to. Her actions spoke louder than her words. Justin searched the house but found no one. he again asked his mom a question. "Where's Molly? Jennifer sat down on the couch and responded. "She's staying at a friends" Justin went and sat next to her pulling her in to a loving hold and whispered to her. "Mom what happened?" She took a deep breath and spoke. "When your dad found out that you had gotten married he went ballistic-I should have kept quiet but I wanted him to understand that you two were meant together and that's when he hit me-he told me it was my fault." Justin interrupted. "Mom its not your fault" Justin heard the front door open. There stood Craig holding roses. Justin stood up but was grabbed by Jennifer. Craig threw the flowers and headed straight to Justin. Cursing him. "What the fuck are you doing in my house faggot?" Justin clenched his fist. He wasn't afraid of his father and to prove it he refused to back down. He began to yell. "I came here to see Mom not you." Justin felt the force of Craig's hand across his cheek. Jennifer released Justin and went to the phone. She was calling Brian. Justin wipe the blood that smeared his cheek. Instead of crying he felt different. It wasn't fear like he usually felt when he faced off with his dad. This time it was pure hate. Justin punched Craig hard knocking him down. He angrily spat out his words."you think I'm some sissy faggot but I'm not" Jennifer had finally heard Brian's voice and cried to him.. "Brian its Justin Craig has" then she saw Craig throw her son across the room and she began to scream. She dropped the phone. Brian on the other end could hear Jennifer pleading with her husband to let Justin go. He was already turning around and heading back. He was cursing on the phone but once again felt helpless to do anything but wait. Justin felt Craig's anger each time he was hit. He looked over to his Mom and saw the bruise and again his anger built up. Gathering all his strength he slammed his father against the coffee table. His voice rose and soon let his hate pour out. "Fuck you" Again Justin nailed the hell out of him. Brian drove as quickly as he could without scaring Deb. Brian cursed "Shit I've lost connection-Deb can you please try and call Jennifer's house" She redialed the number but continued to get a busy signal. "Busy" Brian looked to her and she could see the fear in his eyes. She quietly spoke. "I'll keep trying" 

He didn't give Craig a chance to counter attack. Justin's blood began to trickle down his head. He stopped and looked at his father who was just as bad as he was. But this time Craig had retreated not him. Craig forced his words "Don't fucking think this is over!" Justin watched as his father spoke the words. Shaking his head he looked to his Mom and spoke. "You need to leave this asshole-he's not worth it anymore" Justin bent down in front of Craig and almost laughed when he spoke. "How do you feel that a fag kicked your ass?" Craig flinched as the words were forced in his face. Jennifer turned to Craig and screamed. "Get Out" Justin watched as Craig got up and walked out the door. Before he stepped outside he spoke. "I will be back tomorrow to get my stuff" Jennifer ran to the door and locked it. She turned to Justin and spoke. "Justin let me help you clean up". He smiled and shook his head no and then replied. "I'm ok Mom I just need to go home and get some rest-Are you going to be okay here?" Jennifer nodded her head. She knew Craig wouldn't come back. She was so proud of her son. He had stuck up for her and what he believed in. She spoke quickly. "I'll be ok-Let me give you a ride home" Justin followed his Mom to the car and looked around before jumping in. He looked to his mom and broke his silence "I finally get what Brian has been telling me over and over" Jennifer wanted to ask what he meant but she decided not to. The ride over was silent but in a good way. Brian pulled up to Jennifer's house. Running to the door he pounded. No answer. He looked around and noticed that her car was gone. "Would she have taken him to the hospital" Deb had interrupted. Brian knew how Justin was and if anything he would had her take him to the loft. He got back in to the jeep and headed for home hoping that Justin was alive and well. Jennifer pulled up to the loft and spoke. "Do you want some company?" Justin got out of the car and said. "No, I just need to get cleaned up and get some sleep" Jennifer smiled and gave her son a kiss and drove away. 

Justin went inside taking his medicine he plopped himself on to the couch. He was more tired than he had thought. He was asleep within minutes. Cell phone ringing. Justin was half asleep and was barely audible. "Hello" Brian relieved that he was at least alive spoke. "Justin where are you?" He was barely able to keep his eyes open. The medicine he had taken wasn't supposed to be taken in double doses. He had forgotten that he had taken two before the dinner. "The loft" Brian sped faster toward the loft wanting to hold his love and know that he was safe. Deb too wanted to make sure her sunshine was okay. "Justin? Justin?" Brian continued to say his name but no response. Justin had dropped the cell phone and was back to sleep. It had taken only a matter of minutes before they had reached the loft. Both entering saw Justin on the couch out cold with blood spread across his face. Brian's memory flashed to the prom and he tried to hold back his emotions. "Oh God not again" He ran over to him and scooped him in to his arms and whispered."Justin answer me!" Deb ran to the bathroom and grabbed a wash cloth. she had run warm water over it. She quickly ran back to Brian. He began to wipe away the blood accessing the damage to his head. He gently held Justin in his arms and cupped his cheek slowly wiping away the blood. Kissing every spot that had been cleaned. Justin opened his eyes. He wasn't sure if he was dreaming but he smiled. Brian pleaded with the younger man. "Justin talk to me baby" He loved the way Brian was holding him. He lifted his hand and ran it through Brian's hair. Softly he whispered. "I'm fine-why" Brian's first thought was Oh God he had forgotten-how hard did his father hit him. He wasn't sure if he could handle it again. Cell phone ringing. Brian wasn't obviously going to answer it so Deb picked up the cell. "Hello?" The other line was silent for a second. "Ma? What are you doing with Brian's cell phone?" Deb leaned against the counter. Poor Michael had been waiting for them and they had never showed. She kept her voice down as she spoke. "I'm sorry honey-we were on our way but Justin's father decided to beat on him again and we had to come back." Michael's couldn't believe that little asshole had done it again. He needed his Mom and Brian and once again Justin found a way to make them come rushing to his side. He yelled in to the phone. "That's bullshit ma!" Deb knew that this was going to make things harder on him. She tried to calm him with her positive tone in her voice. "I know your upset honey but Brian will see you tomorrow" What could Michael do at that moment but accept it. Michael blurted out "Tell Brian I expect him tomorrow" Deb was relieved that he didn't continue with the topic of Justin. She continued her conversation. "Ok sweetie You have a good night sleep and Brian will see you tomorrow" Deb hung up the phone and went back to help Brian. She leaned over the two men and asked. "How is he?" He wasn't really sure. Justin opened his eyes again and looked to Deb and spoke. "I'm fine and why are you here?" Both Brian and Deb were speechless. 

Justin tried to sit up but felt dizzy. He laid back down and then spoke. "I thought Michael needed you" Brian wrapped his arms around the boy tighter and let out a long sigh. He replied. "No, your Mom called and told us what happened" Deb smiled and then ranted. "We couldn't let that bastared hurt you again" Justin smiled and whispered. "She told you everything?" He was confused. Deb looked to Brian and then spoke again. "Well, not actually" Brian explained what he heard on the phone while they struggled and lost connection. Justin began to yawn and gently lay a kiss on Brian's neck. "I'm ok just a little tired." He sat up and pulled away from Brian. He needed to tell Brian he understood. "I finally understood what you meant when you said that my father could never be what I want him to be" Brian got ready to interrupt but Justin shook his head. "After seeing what my father did to Mom I lost it-you think I look bad you should see my dad-I kicked his ass" Both Brian and Deb were shocked. Both asked what happened. "What did he do to Jennifer?" Justin stood up and spoke. "He hurt her because of me" He walked to the bathroom and turned on the water. He really didn't have much more to say. His thoughts and feelings were running rapidly. Deb sat on the couch cursing. "That bastared hit Jennifer" Brian knew to well that Craig would have eventually cracked. He spoke quietly not wanting to disturb Justin. "Deb let me get a cab for you" She nodded her head in acceptance. 

The cab soon arrived and she left Brian and Justin alone in the loft. Justin walked out of the shower and headed to bed. He was exhausted. He crawled in to bed and lay next to Brian who had been waiting for him. Brian spoke. "I am going to see Michael tomorrow and I wanted to know if you are coming?" Justin rolled over and sank his back in to Brian and then spoke. "Of course" Comfortable he let his eyes closed and he fell asleep. Wrapping his arms around the boy Brian closed his eyes and let the darkness take him. 

Both men had been up early. Heading to the hospital Brian glanced over to Justin sketching. The bruises on his face looked so dark compared to his pale skin. He hated Craig Taylor. The ride was mostly silent except occasionally for a few words. Pulling up to the drive Justin put down the pad. Justin took on a more serious look and spoke. "Brian do you think Michael is getting better?" Getting out he shrugged his shoulders. He didn't know. He could only hope that he was. Both men walked inside and was greeted by a nurse. "Dr. Marshal is with another patient but will be with you two in a moment" She walked away and sat back at her desk. but she did continue to look at Justin. A few minutes later the Dr showed up. He immediately looked at Justin then back to Brian. Not saying a word he motioned them to follow. They reached that tiny little room again and in the corner sat Michael. Brian walked over to him and took him in to a strong embrace and whispered. "I'm sorry that I couldn't get here-something came up" Dr. Marshal watched Brian as he apologized. He couldn't believe that Brian would hurt such a beautiful man. Sitting down he began. "Our session is going to be a little longer and I'm bringing in another Dr. to help evaluate the progress that Michael is showing" Another man came in. He was a lot better looking and seem to hold himself in a higher manner. His manners matched his disposition. He introduced himself. "Hello I'm Dr. Chase" Both Dr.'s sat down and watched Michael's expressions. Justin still hadn't move from his space. He wasn't going to either. Chase looked to Michael and asked him a question. "Michael what are you thinking right now? Michael looked to Dr. Chase and laughed. "What am I thinking-how many times is it going to take for everyone to see Justin for he really is-a little fuck who won't leave" Justin looked to Michael but said nothing. Chase continued. "Why do you want him to leave?" Again Michael looked to Chase and spoke. "Because he took Brian and my Mom and my friends away-none of them know Justin the way I do-he pretends to be this innocent kid who can't handle anything on his own-the only reason he's with Brian is because he needs someone to support his ass" Michael looked over to Brian and shook his head and directed his reply only to him. "if you only you would open your eyes and see the truth?" Michael was becoming more angry and forced his words. "I'm tired of listening to your shit-its all mind games and I'm sick of it" Standing up he charged Justin and punched him in the face knocking him down. Quickly Dr. Chase and Brian grabbed Michael holding him back. Brian screamed "What the fuck are you doing Michael? He struggled to get loose. Both Brian and Chase picked up Michael and carried him out. Chase was giving directions. "We need to get him settled in his room. As they left the room Dr. Marshal raced to Justin's side and bent down next to him taking his hand and rubbing it slightly. He evaluated the man for a moment and then spoke. "Justin are you ok?" Justin pulled his hand away and looked at him annoyed. He replied. "Yes, I'm fine-I'm use to getting beat up" Jarold leaned over close to his mouth breathing hard. Their lips almost touching. He let out a whisper. "I know he hurts you" Justin couldn't believe this asshole. He made his point. "Brian doesn't hurt me-Michael does" Dr. Marshal let his finger glide across Justin's chest as his hot breath escaped "I would never hurt a pretty boy like you" He wrapped his arm around his waist and brought him close. Caressing his face he spoke confidently. "I can love you if you let me?" By now Justin was freaking out. Slowly the doctor's hand began to roam. He let out a raspy breath as he spoke. "your body is so perfect-Michael is right-you have soft skin like a baby" Justin was appalled and cursed at him. "Get the fuck off me!" Jarold could only smile. 

He gently rolled on to Justin and let his hard cock press against his jeans. He let his roll off his tongue. "How does that feel?" Justin closed his eyes. He was going to be sick. Justin began to call out for Brian."Brian help me!" His voice growing louder Jarold cupped his mouth and growled. "Shhh we don't want to get in to trouble" Justin pushed him off and jumped to his feet moving to the corner of the room. Jarold walked up to him and pressed his body against Justin's and began to kiss him. He looked to the door watching it open. He couldn't help but tremble. Both Brian and Chase walked in and saw the doctor holding Justin. Brian locked his radar on to Marshal and spoke. "What the hell is going on?" Marshal released Justin and walked up to Brian and spoke "You don't deserve him and now I can see why Michael has problems dealing with you!" Outraged Brian pushed him against the wall and screamed. "Don't mess with what's mine or you will be sorry!" Chase was able to pry Brian's arms off Marshal and convince him. "Brian he's not worth it" Justin sat in the corner shaking as he watched the man leave. Brian turned to Justin and rushed to his side. He took the boy in to his arms and spoke "Did he hurt you-touch you?" Justin didn't answer. He let the tears fall. Brian bent down leaning in and kissed him. Again he asked Justin if he was okay. "I need to hear the words that you are ok-if I don't I'm going to leave and go kick Marshal's ass" Justin lifted his head and gave a slight smile and then spoke. "I've never been better" Brian pulled him off the floor and swooped him in to his arms and off the floor. He tried to force and laugh but came out with nothing more than his words. "Ok smart ass were going home" Brian carried him out the door leaving Chase with a serious problem. Dr. Jarold Marshal. 

*Next Session*  
Brian and Justin sat quietly as Michael had been brought in. Both men immediately noticed a difference with him. Justin whispered to Brian. "He's looking a lot better since we seen him last" Brian agreed. Their comments between each other had been interrupted. "Michael-what we talked about earlier I would like you to tell Brian and Justin" Michael looked at Chase and quietly spoke. "I'm not ready" Chase smiled and nodded his head for him to continue. "Yes, you are. You're just a little scared" Michael bit his lip and closed his eyes. He began."Brian-I have loved you since we were kids and my love for you has grown stronger" Taking a deep breath he continued. "When Justin came in to your life I admit I become Jealous but I couldn't admit that he too meant something to me" Both Brian and Justin were quiet. Michael stood up and walked up to Justin and crouched down. Justin was hesitant to sit still for fear that Michael might become violent. Michael reading his mind he lay his hand on his knee. "Please let me finish." Justin looked him in to his eye as Brian began to grow angry. He didn't like the way this conversation was going but he said nothing. Michael uttered the words. "Justin I love you" Brian stood up and yelled. "That's bullshit Mikey and you know it-what the fuck is wrong with you? I wont give you what you want so now your asking Justin too?" Justin sat there for a minute letting the words cycle in his head. Justin quietly asked the question. "Michael how could you love me? You treat me so bad and you beat on me. How?" Justin was confused. Dr. Chase spoke. "Michael couldn't face his feelings for you Justin so he had to push you away. The only way he knew how was to hurt you physically. As for you Brian, Michael still loves you and this is what complicates the situation." Brian looked over to Michael and tried to explain. "I love you but I can't be in love with you" Michael nodded his head knowing that Brian would never cross that line. Turning to Justin he waited. Justin stood up and paced back and forth not sure what to say. He looked to Brian then to Michael then to the doctor. He let out what he was feeling. "Michael I don't love you hell I don't even know you except for the occasional beating. My heart belongs to Brian" Michael knew that Justin would reject him too. Chase had told him that they would and had prepared him for the let down. Michael sat back down and whispered. "I know you two belong together but is there a place for me?" Brian smiled and walked to Justin. Justin looked to Michael then to Brian. He spoke. "Any best friend of Brian Kinney is a best friend to me". Chase looked around at the group proud that he had Michael realize that the men could never become more than friends. Brian and Justin left Michael in his room to sort out his life and headed home. 

"Hello Michael how did the session go?" Marshal asked. Michael smiled and then replied. "They believed me. Now how are you going to convince Brian that we belong together?" Jarold Marshal laughed and then answered "The same way you're going to convince Justin for me" Both men laughed and then embraced in to a strong hold. "Not much longer until we have what we want"


	9. Bleeding Emotions

Justin sat on the couch thinking about the words Michael had said. "How could he love me" "I don't believe a fucking word he says" His words whispered underneath his breath not wanting to wake Brian up from his sleep. Looking at his watch Justin knew he had a shift at the diner and got up to get ready. Pulling his clothes on and kissing Brian on the cheek he walked out the door. Brian opened his eyes as he heard the door shut. He sat up and wiped his face with his hands. Michael's words were bullshit. Brian wasn't sure what game he was playing but he did know that he hated being lied to. He would confront Mikey today while Justin was at the diner. Justin opened the door and saw Deb smiling and greeted him cheerfully. "Hi kiddo" Justin waved as he picked up his apron and picked up an order. The diner was packed and he hadn't noticed the visitor that was seated in the corner. Justin walked up to the table. "What can I" Stopping in mid sentence he realized who it was. "Hello Justin, cup of black coffee please" Justin stood there for a moment then went and got the man his order. Upon returning he handed him the coffee and demanded to know his reason for being there. "What the fuck are you doing here?" Justin had said it loud enough to get the attention of the crowded room. Marshal dismissed the people in the diner and spoke. "I needed to speak with you and since I was taken off Michael's case I couldn't just pull you aside at the hospital so I came here." Justin rolled his eyes and walked away tending to another customer. He really didn't want to bother with Jarold at that moment. "Excuse me I need some service" Justin looked over to Deb and shook his head no. Deb wiped her hands and walked to the man and spoke. "what can I get you?" The man looked over his shoulder and pointed to Justin. "Him, get me him" Deb laughed not knowing who he was and gave him an earful. "Two words buddy, Brian Kinney" Standing up he ignored Deb's warning and approached Justin and spoke. "I need to talk with you and then I will go" Justin took off his apron and walked out the door. He turn to the man and spoke coldly. "What do you want?" Jarold smiled and touched Justin's arm. 

Justin immediately pulled back and bluntly said. "5 minutes then I'm going back in" Jarold let go of him and spoke. "Michael wanted me to come and tell you that he needs to talk to you" Justin shook his head and replied. "Why should I?. I'm done playing his games and I'm done playing yours" Justin walked past the man and was grabbed and forcefully spoke. "I don't want to hurt you but your not leaving me much choice." Justin turned around and pushed the man against the wall. Deb had watched and rushed outside and frantically hollered. "Justin are you ok?" Not turning to look at her he decked Dr. Marshal hard. He let out a low growl. "Don't threaten me" Justin could feel his knuckles crack against the man's jaw. He knew that Deb had saved him from whatever the doctor had intended but he wasn't going to just walk away without letting the man understand that he won't be intimidated. He let his anger pour out. "Fuck off Jarold" Deb pulled him inside the diner and helped wrapped ice on his aching fingers. She tried to convince him to call Brian. "Let me call Brian and he can come get you" He shook his head and replied. "No Deb I can handle Dr. Marshal." She scanned over his swelling fingers. Justin watched her worried expressions and tried to reassure her. "Deb it looks a lot worse than it feels" She nodded her head but the worried expression never left her face. She leaned against the counter and spoke. "Who was that Justin and don't tell me no one! You knew his name" He adjusted the ice and looked away. He really didn't want to go in to detail but gave her just enough info to get by. "Just some guy who wanted to talk" Justin looked at her again and gave a slight smile trying to convince her that he had things in control. She smiled back and spoke. "Go home Sunshine and rest" Justin grabbed his stuff and walked out of the diner. He had a hard time moving his fingers and decided that it was best just to go home and soak his hand. He walked out of the diner yelling back to her. "Thanks Deb" Justin walked back to the loft but made sure to keep his eyes on the look out for Jarold. Taking the elevator up he was glad that he was home. He went to the bedroom and threw his back pack on the bed. He headed to the bathroom stripping his clothes on the way. Feeling the cool air surround him he walked to the shower and turned on the hot water. Letting the room feel up with steam his body sent chills up his back. As he began to climb in he heard the phone ring. He curses out loud. "Figures as soon as I get ready to relax" Picking up the phone he noticed the door cracked opened. Walking to the door he closed it and locked it. He went back to the phone and spoke. "Hello?" Silence. Hanging up the phone he cursed himself for not locking the door. He forced out the words. "This is just the setting for a bad horror movie, Man alone with a stalker" Laughing at his thoughts he scanned the loft but saw no one. He went back to his hot shower and got in and let the water beat down on his back. Closing his eyes he bent his head back and let the hot water run over his face. He did not realize that someone else was in the room. Undressing quietly the man would have to teach Justin a lesson. 

Watching the young boy behind the glass made his cock grow hard. To touch the creamy skin and plant little kisses on him. Shivers ran up his back. Desire ran through his veins and the simple touch of the teen would put him over the edge. Opening the door he climbed in. Justin had shampoo in his hair and was unable to open his eyes but he felt another presence. Hands touching his waist and then lower he panicked. He yelled out. "Shit" Shoving the larger man back he tried to race out of the shower but was caught by a strong grasp. His eyes were burning as he could feel his tears mixing with the shampoo. Justin screamed."Get the fuck off me" Letting his body fall in the corner the water ran over his face clearing the shampoo out off his eyes. His eyes stung and had to keep them closed. He trembled. Swearing and crying at the same time. He could feel a loving hand caress him and then speak "Justin listen to me. its ok Baby I'm sorry. I thought I would scare you and teach you to lock the door. Christ I didn't think you would freak out" Justin opened his eyes as he heard Brian's voice. His own voice quivered "I thought you were Jarold" Brian clenched his fist as he heard the name and growled. "What the fuck happened Justin?" He looked at Brian and softly replied. "Can we get out first? The water is turning cold" Brian stepped out first and held his hand out for the teen. Justin kept his hand tucked in next to his chest. His knuckles still felt like they hit a brick wall. Brian noticed and asked. "What's wrong with your hand?" Brian was becoming more impatient. He had more questions and wasn't getting any answers. Justin stepped out of the shower and took the towel and dried off. He began to talk. "I saw Jarold at the diner today. He threatened me so I hit him hard" Justin let his words fall silent as he saw the look on Brian's face. He continued "I came home because my hand hurt and thought I would get a nice hot shower. I forgot to lock the door and heard the phone ring. That's when I noticed it open." Brian unclenched his fist and strolled over to the kitchen. Justin followed but said nothing more. 

He waited for Brian to say something. "Who was on the phone?" Justin let out a sigh and spoke. "No one spoke so I hung up the phone" Brian finished up the water and headed to Justin's side. He wrapped his arm around the man and slowly kissed him and whispered loving words.. "I love you" Justin snuggled closer. No matter how many times Brian said the words his heart melted. Since they have been married everything changed. He hardly ever did drugs and tricking cease to exist. He occasionally drank but not to heavy. Justin whispered the words back. They held on to each for some time before letting go. Dr. Marshal stood outside of the loft next to the elevator. He had followed Justin home and was going to go in but Brian had beat him there. He spoke coldly. "I'll get you sooner or later" He stepped back in the elevator and went down exiting the building. He used his cell to call Justin earlier but that hadn't worked either. Brian had heard the elevator and walked to the window. He caught a glimpse of Jarold getting in to a black Mercedes. Justin had made himself comfortable on the couch sketching. He popped his head phones on and listened to the soft melody. "If a picture paints a thousand words, Then why can't I paint you? The words will never show the you I've come to know. If a face could launch a thousand ships, Then where am I to go? There's no one home but you, You're all that's left me too. And when my love for life is running dry, You come and pour yourself on me. If a man could be two places at one time, I'd be with you. Tomorrow and today, beside you all the way. If the world should stop revolving spinning slowly down to die, I'd spend the end with you. And when the world was through, Then one by one the stars would all go out, Then you and I would simply fly away" [Bread "IF"] Brian watched the boy sketch furiously and wondered what his thoughts were. He looked back to the window and knew that he would have to make sure that Dr. Marshal understood that Justin was his. Letting out a breath Brian walked over to him and pulled the head phones off and spoke. "Justin I need you to listen to me" Justin watched the hazel eyes darken as he continued. "I want you to be careful when you're not with me or one of the guys. If you get in to any trouble I want you to call me. No Excuses" Justin nodded his head and replied. "I will Bri" Brian wrapped his arms around the boy and held him close taking in the sweet scent. Brian whispered under his breath. "I'm ready to play Mikey but you better warn Jarold that I don't play nice" Justin looked up at him smiling and then asked. "Can I play too?" Both men laughed. 

A few days passed without incident. Brian called Mikey and agreed to meet at the hospital later on that day. Michael was curious to know something so he asked. "Brian you are bringing Justin?" Brian let his smirk cross his lips and replied. "Of course Mikey. We can't leave boy wonder behind" Michael smiled as he let his thoughts run. Then he replied. "No, we sure can't" Ending the call Brian kissed Justin on his sweet tender mouth. Saying the words out loud. "Let the game begin" Justin giggled and returned the kiss back. Pushing their plan aside for now they took a simple kiss in to a loving passionate twist. Brian leaned closer and stared in to those baby blues. Not wanting to be the first to waiver he gently caressed his cheek. Justin saw the emotions that play in his eyes. Hands gliding through hair as their lips swelled. They both pulled away to catch their breath. Justin stood up and slowly began to undress. Letting each piece of clothing fall to the floor. Brian reached out to touch the creamy skin that stood teasing him. Licking his lips he pulled the naked man closer and whispered. "God you're beautiful" Justin unbuttoned Brian's shirt and worked his way to his pants. Laying kisses on each spot that his fingers touched. The sensation of warmth and love was felt. Leaving the couch both men headed to bed. As the kisses became longer and the touch became softer the moans became louder. Brian rolled Justin on his back and put up his legs. He needed the connection. Their eyes met up and never wavered. Rubbing some lubrication on his own Dick he inserted himself in to Justin's tight ass. The feeling of being together without any barrier brought both men closer to ecstasy. Emotions screaming heartbeats exploding with feeling of love surrounding they fall in to each other never wanting to let go. Breathing settled to normal sleep over took them as they still lay embraced. 

A few hours later both men were sitting in the jeep headed to Shady Oaks. Brian looked to his lover and spoke. "Justin if something goes wrong I want you to find me" He nodded his head and sat with a big grin. Brian was so conniving and cunning that he was more than happy to be on his side. Justin spoke up."Brian?" Brian glanced over as he parked the jeep. Justin continued. "I love you" Brian smiled then spoke."Whatever I say in there I don't mean. I love you and this is only a game. Do you understand that?" Brian wanted him to know that no matter what was said that he loved him beyond life Justin smiled and replied. "I know" Both men got out of the jeep and headed inside. It didn't take long for Marshal to notice the distance that Brian and Justin had. Justin saw the audience and began. "I don't care if he is your best friend. I don't want you around him anymore" Justin stomped his feet to add to the over dramatic scene. Brian had to turn away. The kid was good but the stomping was a little to much. He almost started laughing. Quickly he recovered his poker face and glared at Justin to speak. "Either you deal with Mikey and me or you can leave" Michael had been brought out to watch the argument. He was smiling ear to ear. Justin let the tears fall off his face. Brian's heart fell. Even though this was a game seeing his tears made it hard. Brian bit back his emotions and then yelled. "Fuck you Justin. I'm tired of your childish games" Michael looked over to Marshal. Their plan was working. Justin turned away and looked at Michael and yelled. "This is all your fucking fault." He let his body tremble and doubled the tears. "I can't let Michael continue to ruin us. Pick Brian! Either Michael or me, but you can't have us both" Brian looked over to Michael and spoke. "I should have chose Michael in the first place. Not some twink who fell in love with my dick. Get the fuck out of my life" Brian walked away holding Michael in his arms. Justin stood there sobbing. "How can you do this to me? I love you" Brian continued to walk away. Justin collapsed on the floor holding his arms around him. He let out his aching heart. "I fucking gave you my heart and you take it away and crush it" 

Michael stopped and turned around. He let go of Brian and walked over and kicked him in his chest and screamed. "Shut the fuck up. Brian finally sees the truth. I told you he would finally fucking figure it out" Brian looked at Justin trying to read the expressions. He almost stopped the game but Justin signaled him to continue. Justin forced his words out. "All this is to you is a game. Keep playing the game" Brian understood the words. Michael looked at him and then stated. "Justin that's what you were, Just a game" Both men turned around as Justin lay on the ground trying to catch his breath. He didn't let on that Michael had hurt him. He wanted the game to continue. He let his eyes closed knowing that Marshal would see this to be an opportunity to gain his trust. Soon he was speaking. "Justin? Things are going to be all right" Justin looked in to Marshal's eyes and let his tears fall heavily. Marshal brushed away the hair on his forehead. Brian turned back right before they circled the corner. His body flinched. He hated any one to put their hands on what was his. Dr. Chase watched both Michael and Marshal act out. He motioned for Brian and Michael to go in to the room while he went to go check on Justin. Brian silently glanced at Chase and mouthed the words. "Thank you" Chase nodded his head and walked out looking for Justin. The plan was just to prove that nothing changed with Michael and Marshal. No one was supposed to get hurt. Marshal did nothing to stop Michael from kicking Justin. Of course no one knew that he was in the game except for Brian. He found Justin on the floor with Marshal holding him. Justin kept his eyes closed. He hated that this man's scent was creeping on him. Chase spoke."Marshal?" Jarold looked up and saw Chase standing above them. Chase continued. "We need to get a look at Justin to make sure there is no broken ribs" Jarold nodded and help Justin up. Walking to another room Chase helped him up on the table. Whispering in his ear. "Brian loves you" Justin trembled as Marshal removed his shirt. Justin sat still as Jarold hands moved across his chest and waist. He hated that another man was touching him. He was beginning to hate this game. 

Meanwhile in the other room. Michael was trying to love on Brian. He kept repeating the same words. "I knew you loved me" Brian looked over to the door. He knew that Justin was next door and he strained his ears to hear any sounds. Justin watched Chase walk out the door. His level of calm just walked out with him. Marshal began to run his hand along the soft skin. Justin moved his hand and whispered. "Don't" He knew that things were getting out of hand. They proved their point that Marshal took advantage of Michael. He wasn't helping him. He was making the situation worse. Justin stood up and was going to go find Brian when Marshal grabbed his waist and spoke. "Brian doesn't love you" Chase entered the room and pulled Brian aside and whispered in a hush voice. "I don't think we should let this game go any farther" Brian didn't ask why. He nodded his head and looked to Michael. Brian calmly spoke. "Mikey I do love you but I had to make you see that you need help. More help than Marshal is willing to give" Michael was confused. Behind the mirror stood a board of panel members watching Dr. Marshal try and molest this teen. Justin screamed out. "Stop it" Justin pushed the doctor away and ran to the door. Jarold moved and blocked it. Justin screamed out. "BRIAN!" Chase looked over to the wall and watched it vibrate. Justin felt his body come in contact with the wall. Immediately Brian ran out of the room. Opening the door he saw Justin on the floor trying to stand up. Marshal was leaning over him trying to touch him. Brian cursed him."You fucking bastered" He couldn't contain his anger. As Michael, Chase and the board members watched. Brian kicked the shit out of him. Michael saw Justin struggling to hold his own and ran to his side. He made sure Justin heard him as he spoke."You won't fuck up my chances with Brian." Michael raised his hand with all his force and hit Justin knocking him unconscious. Brian watched what Michael had done. He threw Marshal against the wall and went to Justin's side. Pushing Michael down he picked up Justin's body and held him close. Some of the board members went to Dr. Marshal and helped him up. They removed him from the building. Justin could feel a wet cloth run across his face. he opened up his eyes and saw Brian with unshed tears in his eyes. 

Justin smiled and wrapped his arms around the man and whispered. "I love you" Brian looked over to Michael who had been crying out of self pity and then back to his love. "I will always love you and nothing will make me change my mind" Michael fell to the floor screaming as Dr. Chase tried to calm him. After a few minutes Michael was put back in his room under strict supervision. Brian and Justin listened to the board members apologize for Dr. Marshal's behavior. Probably scared that they might sue they offered Michael free care until he was 100% better. After Chase had looked over Justin once again they were able to leave. Michael had left a few bruises but nothing he couldn't handle. Chase took hold of Brian's arm and spoke confidently. "Brian we will help Michael see the truth." Brian nodded his head as he pulled Justin closer and whispered. "I know you will" Both men exited the little room having played the game and won.


	10. Bleeding Emotions

Michael stayed in Shady Oaks a little over a year receiving therapy. He now lives among normal people and has found love to be over rated. He still hasn't given up the thought of Brian being his lover but doesn't let his feelings over rule his judgment. Him and Justin are still not friends but they do talk occasionally. As for Dr. Jarold Marshal he was fired from his job and was unable to find work. He was forced to move out of state and try to rebuild is career. He finally realized that you never mess with Brian Kinney without consequences. Brian and Justin celebrated their 1 year anniversary together alone at the very place they had gotten married. On the beach with the sun setting. Together dancing to their song.


End file.
